HAHA BAI! I shifted last week to a new blog liao! Its like you found my address of the house i was living 5 years ago! and i have since moved house twice!
My new blog is www.flyflysoaruphigh.tumblr.com
Monday, December 6, 2010
Thursday, November 25, 2010
BF, The Month of Nov
Im so excited. i just wrapped up my first Building Fund Pledge! And its 120% of my monthly income! And this excludes all that of my other tithes, offerings, and spendings! Im like having super negative monthly income now. But it kkz. i do this by faith in jesus christ, who gave his life up to save us sinners. All that god has given to me in my life is more than a million times of what im giving back to him. And what more, im waiting for the day when hogc grows so incredibly huge everyone will have no choice but to know and realise the power of god.
I cant wait to drop my first pledge into the bfbox!
I cant wait to drop my first pledge into the bfbox!
Revival Meeting
Today is such an unsmiley day. For the first time in like a month, i havent smiled happily for the entire afternoon to night. Must have been the words god spoke to me. I think i've brokened his heart and misplaced his trust in me. I feel both guilty and troubled. Guilty because for the past few months, i havent been fulfiling my true purpose in life, and troubled because i now carry such a big responsibility in this world.
Before svc today, i was reading a book, and i realised how much more mature and wise i can be. I thought i grew spiritually. Well, many people did. But in fact, i think that what i've seen and experienced is only the tip of the iceberg as to what my calling is. There are so so many more things i can do. While i have never doubted my love for god, i know i havent been obeying one of his greatest commandments; love one another like yourself. Its so sad, because everyday i have been telling myself, i must love other people, i must love other people, but deep down, i know i havent been loving them enough. And i think thats where the problem and challenge lies, when you begin to love imperfection. My love for god has been 100%, for his love for me has been perfect. But to what extent can we boldly say we love imperfect people too?
During svc today, this ugly truth was once again highlighted in my life. In my life, i see so many windows of opportunity for me to act. God has placed me in an environment where they are so many non christians, and many of them are my close friends. But for the past few months, i have been a horrible horrible person. My attempts to introduce the king above all kings, lord above all lords, the great and almighty god have been so weak and futile. Its was so clear that my words lacked pure conviction, lacked empowerment, lacked the glory of god. It is little wonder why i have failed so terribly. I have, to put it crudely, disgraced my status as a christian. Other times, i became a mere onlooker, watching them sin without myself even shivering in disgust. Its just so tragic that while god has given me so much of his glory to shine in my life, i havent been able to extend his glory to others. What more do i deserve from god, than a slap on my face and a wake up call. For the past few months, what i did can be summed up to watching them falling prey to the devil, watching them getting consumed with sin and watching them drown in a sinking ship. While for me, I happily held on to a rope, busy with my own safety, while they sink quickly into the quicksand. God has given me so much grace and love, but i failed to deliver his hope and purpose in my life. Yes, I have wasted his love. I am truly ashamed.
Perhaps the only matter i can rejoice in would be that they havent fully sunken in yet. I can still reach my hand to them and save their lives. While every second i waste would be them sinking even deeper, I will pull them with all my might and strength which i draw from the lord and make sure they are saved and freed from the chains of the devil. This day, i commit my life to god's purpose, i will live for others, and seek to bring salvation to all. The bible says in Luke 19:17, "And he said to him, 'Well done, good slave, because you have been faithful in a very little thing, you are to be in authority over ten cities.'" I now boldly declare that this is god's calling onto my life, to move even the highest mountains, to part even the deepest oceans. All i ask is for you, jesus, to never forsake me when i need you, for you to forever give me your glory and edify my soul. For this time, i will not fail you.
Before svc today, i was reading a book, and i realised how much more mature and wise i can be. I thought i grew spiritually. Well, many people did. But in fact, i think that what i've seen and experienced is only the tip of the iceberg as to what my calling is. There are so so many more things i can do. While i have never doubted my love for god, i know i havent been obeying one of his greatest commandments; love one another like yourself. Its so sad, because everyday i have been telling myself, i must love other people, i must love other people, but deep down, i know i havent been loving them enough. And i think thats where the problem and challenge lies, when you begin to love imperfection. My love for god has been 100%, for his love for me has been perfect. But to what extent can we boldly say we love imperfect people too?
During svc today, this ugly truth was once again highlighted in my life. In my life, i see so many windows of opportunity for me to act. God has placed me in an environment where they are so many non christians, and many of them are my close friends. But for the past few months, i have been a horrible horrible person. My attempts to introduce the king above all kings, lord above all lords, the great and almighty god have been so weak and futile. Its was so clear that my words lacked pure conviction, lacked empowerment, lacked the glory of god. It is little wonder why i have failed so terribly. I have, to put it crudely, disgraced my status as a christian. Other times, i became a mere onlooker, watching them sin without myself even shivering in disgust. Its just so tragic that while god has given me so much of his glory to shine in my life, i havent been able to extend his glory to others. What more do i deserve from god, than a slap on my face and a wake up call. For the past few months, what i did can be summed up to watching them falling prey to the devil, watching them getting consumed with sin and watching them drown in a sinking ship. While for me, I happily held on to a rope, busy with my own safety, while they sink quickly into the quicksand. God has given me so much grace and love, but i failed to deliver his hope and purpose in my life. Yes, I have wasted his love. I am truly ashamed.
Perhaps the only matter i can rejoice in would be that they havent fully sunken in yet. I can still reach my hand to them and save their lives. While every second i waste would be them sinking even deeper, I will pull them with all my might and strength which i draw from the lord and make sure they are saved and freed from the chains of the devil. This day, i commit my life to god's purpose, i will live for others, and seek to bring salvation to all. The bible says in Luke 19:17, "And he said to him, 'Well done, good slave, because you have been faithful in a very little thing, you are to be in authority over ten cities.'" I now boldly declare that this is god's calling onto my life, to move even the highest mountains, to part even the deepest oceans. All i ask is for you, jesus, to never forsake me when i need you, for you to forever give me your glory and edify my soul. For this time, i will not fail you.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Pastor Troy Marshal
What a wonderful weekend this has been. Filled with so much excitement and faith.
Went to dakota hawker centre with my family today for lunch! The variety is super wide i was completely spoilt for choices. But i had one aim in mind, to hunt for the famous dakota tauhuayy! i walked round and round but i couldnt find a distinct store with super long queue. Unexpectedly, i saw someone from church carrying like 100 tauhuay walking out of the hawker, so i knew it had to be around somewhere! I saw a quite flashy shop selling tauhuay, but the plastic bag they used wasnt red. so confirm not tt store. and then right where my family was sitting, there was a notsoflashy tauhuay store infront of us. I told myself, it has to be it! so i went to buy the tauhuay, and on the first bite, i expected to like ascend and fly. but it tasted quite ordinary.. But on the second mouth, it became yummyly delicious! But i really hope i ate the correct dakota tauhuay.
This story is long but definitely worth remembering, so im gonna make it into black and white so i can rmb it for life!
Went to parkway to buy balloons after that. After alighting from the bus, i decided to walk left instead of right because it was a shorter path into parkway shopping centre. So as i was crossing the overhead bridge, i rmbed i havent drawn money to buy the balloons, and atm was on the other side of the road. so i was like, bah. how forgetful can i get. and i proceeded towards the shop. Upon reaching the shop, the realised that the pricing was different from what they said online, from $1 to $1.45. Super huge jump, especially when i was gonna buy 20 balloons. Thats like 50% more expensive. So i decided to try to bargain, but she wouldnt budge. She was super fierce and angsty also, and she told me that she had to prepare 100 balloons in like 10min time, and if i dont buy now, i need to wait until she finishes her 100 balloons which was like 1hr later. So i was like. okay fine. but i needed to draw money first to buy. So i went out of parkway and walked to the draw money area which was right out at the bus stop. As i walked, i was praying to god for a miracle to happen.
And on my way back, i saw standard chartered giving free nonhelium-balloons-on-a-stick! and beside them was maybank giving free helium balloons! So and idea came into my head! Take 20 free helium balloons, and i dont have to pay a single cent! So i went to take 2 balloons, then i asked for 10 more. Expectedly, the staff wouldnt give la. but he told me i could get my friends to come and take the balloons. And so under the hot sun, i started to look for approachable people to ask for help! And so qiao, i saw xiongann! and i asked him to help me take balloons! And he and his friend,took 2 for me, so i had 4! But i had only 4, i needed like alot more. So i looked around for options, and i saw a boy walking around aimlessly giving out flyers. I intelligently proposed a trade with him! I help him give out flyers, he help me take balloons! and so it happened! best thing was that he called his friend who was giving out flyers as well to help to take more balloons! and in exchange, i helped his friend give out flyers too! And incredibly, the 2 of them took 6 balloons in total! I had 10 balloons! i was super super thankful to them! but i had to continue my quest for more balloons! In 1 hand i was holding 10 balloons, and in the other, i was giving out flyers. and like 5 ppl approached me, can i have a balloon? i was like. im not from maybank yo! But there was 1 girl who wanted a balloon quite desperately, so i reluctantly gave her 1.
So until then, i had 9 balloons in total. I headed back to the shop, like 25 min later, and i saw that she was already preparing the 100 balloons she needed. I was like, oh no. u better take my order!! With the widest smile, i approached the staff telling her im back to buy the balloons, but this time i needed only 11, and the previous angsty, angrylooking staff became a totally changed person. Friendly and supportative! She saw my maybank balloons, and i dont know if it was out of sympathy or kindness, she willingly volunteered to give me 5 more balloons for free, saying that the maybank balloons i had wouldnt last! Its really quite a miracle because who would expect an established shop to give out free balloons which cost $1.45 each to a totally random customer out of free will? I had completely no relationships with her before today whatsoever. I was like, no way! God really moves in our lives! Now i have 25 balloons! 9 maybank, 11 paid for, and 5 free!
Happily i took the balloons to church! The only downside was that i couldnt board public transport with 25 balloons in my hand. So i had no choice but to spend $5.40 on cab. Its so incredible that while i was alone during the entire time searching for the balloons, i could god with me throughout the entire time! And he seemed to be telling me what i had to do, And thinking back, all these would have been made possible only if i had forgotten that i needed to draw money and walked left instead of right! This once again emphasizes on the fact that we need to trust god always, even when we experience errors and mistakes, for god always has a plan for us!
Pastor troy is so sincere! From just one single idea he wants us to understand, he goes through so many different platforms to explain, relating to his life, our life, and everyday occurences! And the thing which shows his sincerity at its best was when he was willing to go overtime to preach about the single idea he wants us to understand!(although i think most of us get his drift already) I think he was still worried that we might not have grasped the concept entirely, so he took pains to give countless examples to emphasize on that point. He has such a heart for all of us! And during altar call, he went to every single person to bless them!
And im so happy i went up to the front today! But of course, i have to thank peijun for giving me the nudge, and for zhanyu who reassuringly told me that he would be fine alone. The feeling infront was totally different. Immediately after reaching the front, i looked up and saw dom looking back at me. His eyes were full of godly compassion. I could really see the glory of god shining infront of me, as though telling me, you are my dearly loved son, and you bring me great joy! Lynette came and prayed for me. and im so thankful it was lynette who prayed for me. For she knows my doubts and fears, and only she, knows what i needed to hear.
After a wonderful week with god, its now back to work. Time to put my trust in god, and know that everything that happens happen for a reason.
Went to dakota hawker centre with my family today for lunch! The variety is super wide i was completely spoilt for choices. But i had one aim in mind, to hunt for the famous dakota tauhuayy! i walked round and round but i couldnt find a distinct store with super long queue. Unexpectedly, i saw someone from church carrying like 100 tauhuay walking out of the hawker, so i knew it had to be around somewhere! I saw a quite flashy shop selling tauhuay, but the plastic bag they used wasnt red. so confirm not tt store. and then right where my family was sitting, there was a notsoflashy tauhuay store infront of us. I told myself, it has to be it! so i went to buy the tauhuay, and on the first bite, i expected to like ascend and fly. but it tasted quite ordinary.. But on the second mouth, it became yummyly delicious! But i really hope i ate the correct dakota tauhuay.
This story is long but definitely worth remembering, so im gonna make it into black and white so i can rmb it for life!
Went to parkway to buy balloons after that. After alighting from the bus, i decided to walk left instead of right because it was a shorter path into parkway shopping centre. So as i was crossing the overhead bridge, i rmbed i havent drawn money to buy the balloons, and atm was on the other side of the road. so i was like, bah. how forgetful can i get. and i proceeded towards the shop. Upon reaching the shop, the realised that the pricing was different from what they said online, from $1 to $1.45. Super huge jump, especially when i was gonna buy 20 balloons. Thats like 50% more expensive. So i decided to try to bargain, but she wouldnt budge. She was super fierce and angsty also, and she told me that she had to prepare 100 balloons in like 10min time, and if i dont buy now, i need to wait until she finishes her 100 balloons which was like 1hr later. So i was like. okay fine. but i needed to draw money first to buy. So i went out of parkway and walked to the draw money area which was right out at the bus stop. As i walked, i was praying to god for a miracle to happen.
And on my way back, i saw standard chartered giving free nonhelium-balloons-on-a-stick! and beside them was maybank giving free helium balloons! So and idea came into my head! Take 20 free helium balloons, and i dont have to pay a single cent! So i went to take 2 balloons, then i asked for 10 more. Expectedly, the staff wouldnt give la. but he told me i could get my friends to come and take the balloons. And so under the hot sun, i started to look for approachable people to ask for help! And so qiao, i saw xiongann! and i asked him to help me take balloons! And he and his friend,took 2 for me, so i had 4! But i had only 4, i needed like alot more. So i looked around for options, and i saw a boy walking around aimlessly giving out flyers. I intelligently proposed a trade with him! I help him give out flyers, he help me take balloons! and so it happened! best thing was that he called his friend who was giving out flyers as well to help to take more balloons! and in exchange, i helped his friend give out flyers too! And incredibly, the 2 of them took 6 balloons in total! I had 10 balloons! i was super super thankful to them! but i had to continue my quest for more balloons! In 1 hand i was holding 10 balloons, and in the other, i was giving out flyers. and like 5 ppl approached me, can i have a balloon? i was like. im not from maybank yo! But there was 1 girl who wanted a balloon quite desperately, so i reluctantly gave her 1.
So until then, i had 9 balloons in total. I headed back to the shop, like 25 min later, and i saw that she was already preparing the 100 balloons she needed. I was like, oh no. u better take my order!! With the widest smile, i approached the staff telling her im back to buy the balloons, but this time i needed only 11, and the previous angsty, angrylooking staff became a totally changed person. Friendly and supportative! She saw my maybank balloons, and i dont know if it was out of sympathy or kindness, she willingly volunteered to give me 5 more balloons for free, saying that the maybank balloons i had wouldnt last! Its really quite a miracle because who would expect an established shop to give out free balloons which cost $1.45 each to a totally random customer out of free will? I had completely no relationships with her before today whatsoever. I was like, no way! God really moves in our lives! Now i have 25 balloons! 9 maybank, 11 paid for, and 5 free!
Happily i took the balloons to church! The only downside was that i couldnt board public transport with 25 balloons in my hand. So i had no choice but to spend $5.40 on cab. Its so incredible that while i was alone during the entire time searching for the balloons, i could god with me throughout the entire time! And he seemed to be telling me what i had to do, And thinking back, all these would have been made possible only if i had forgotten that i needed to draw money and walked left instead of right! This once again emphasizes on the fact that we need to trust god always, even when we experience errors and mistakes, for god always has a plan for us!
Pastor troy is so sincere! From just one single idea he wants us to understand, he goes through so many different platforms to explain, relating to his life, our life, and everyday occurences! And the thing which shows his sincerity at its best was when he was willing to go overtime to preach about the single idea he wants us to understand!(although i think most of us get his drift already) I think he was still worried that we might not have grasped the concept entirely, so he took pains to give countless examples to emphasize on that point. He has such a heart for all of us! And during altar call, he went to every single person to bless them!
And im so happy i went up to the front today! But of course, i have to thank peijun for giving me the nudge, and for zhanyu who reassuringly told me that he would be fine alone. The feeling infront was totally different. Immediately after reaching the front, i looked up and saw dom looking back at me. His eyes were full of godly compassion. I could really see the glory of god shining infront of me, as though telling me, you are my dearly loved son, and you bring me great joy! Lynette came and prayed for me. and im so thankful it was lynette who prayed for me. For she knows my doubts and fears, and only she, knows what i needed to hear.
After a wonderful week with god, its now back to work. Time to put my trust in god, and know that everything that happens happen for a reason.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Healing Wounds.
What a long long day today have been. A long, tiring and rough day, yet also a day that has made me stronger and more powerful.
The first stab:
Today at work, we kind of screwed up by lying the key around, and the officer came and deliberately took the key away. and declared his hostility on us, intending to give us extras as punishment. I have really no qualms about his anger, because its the second time that this incident has happened. But i only wished he would look deeper into the matter and find out the source of the problem, instead of just giving a general and superficial solution like punishing us. Extra work on weekends are okay, im totally fine with it. Its the missing of service that im concerned with, especially with the month of dec arriving. I really hope that i get my christmas weekend free.
The second stab on the same spot:
I was really disturbed by the entire issue, because i normally dont get into trouble at all. Since primary school, i've always tried to keep my slate clean, making sure i dont get myself any unnecessary scoldings. But in this short span of a few months, it has been a turbulent journey for me. I was hence, rather upset with myself for getting into trouble again, and i brought this negative attitude to bff meeting. Unexpectedly, things didnt turn out much better during the meeting. The event was only 2 days away, and i had completely no knowledge that the entire order of events was restructured. Being part of the organising team, i was firstly, shocked that the information that the order of events was revamped was not dissemminated out accurately. Secondly, i felt really guilty for not probing and updating myself on any new changes to the event. Furthermore, one entire segment of the games was taken out; the segment that was supposedly to be hosted by me. Not only had i gotten most of the materials i needed ready, i even had my script written typed out! I saw this golden opportunity given to me as a chance to grow, to rise up in my confidence, and i put in the required effort to ensure success. Unfortunately, this segment was removed, and to think that i was still rehearsing and memorising my script minutes before the meeting! But perhaps the most painful was the indifference portrayed generally. But this is really uncool, and I shall not elaborate.
I immediately wrote in my itouch "God, give me strength", and through faith, i told myself, you probably are not ready for this yet. And deep down i know its true. I knew i wasnt 100% ready for it yet, but i was ready to stretch my faith and trust in god to carry me to my maximum potential. But i guess god knew this wasnt the right time yet. To be rather honest, one part of me was rather relieved that this responsibility was lifted off my shoulders, but the other part of me knew that this would have been a golden opportunity to test and stretch my faith. Nevertheless, i decided to believe that god has a greater plan for me, and this was not the time.
But the real reason that really inspired me and pulled me out of this valley was the presence of a sacrificial heart in each of the team members. All of them had such faith and confidence in the entire event, and they continually volunteered to provide for the event, especially huiyu, who was exceptional today. She volunteered to buy and fill the balloons, bring torchlight, whistle, buy the red dots, bring the people there and even volunteered to share what she felt first! Everything that we needed to do, she said she was willing to do it. And it was quite clear to me that she wasnt going to be able to bring the people there and get the balloons simultaneously, and in my heart i was like, huh. how is that going to be possible. But she said it with so much conviction that she could do it, it really touched me. Isnt this the very core foundation of christianity; doing the impossible through faith in christ who strengthens you, the exact and perfect mindset every christian should have? At a secondary one level, whether by pure luck or accident, she has displayed a tremendous amount of christlikeness, sacrificing to build god's house and believing in the impossible through faith in christ. And i dont think anyone else in the meeting noticed this moment of magnificent display of christlikeness, but i tell you, i see her childlike faith gleaming from within her, and if she can inspire me through her small yet selfless acts, i truly believe she will grow up to be a great person.
On a lighter note, i went out with joey for a somewhat dinner at tauhuay. Seems like its becoming a weekly thing that we go out together for dinner/supper on a weekday. Shared with him what i felt about many stuff, including different things about what different people said. I was quite glad that he understood how i felt when my segment was removed from the order of events. It made me feel alot happier. And a cooler thing that happened was that jianming called me on my hp!! I shared with him via sms about the stuff that happened today, and he called me to tell me about what i should do etc.
It was heartwarming. I feel really honored to be able to receive so much attention from him, and the best thing that happened was that he said next time if i had any problems or issues regarding life, he would very much want to hear my problems so that he can guide me as to what i should do and how i should face it. This sentence made me really touched, that such a busy person was actually concerned about my problems, and even wanted to share my problems anytime. Acts like these are like nitro to me; they boost my speed in this race for god.
A few weeks ago, i was telling myself how much i will miss john when hes not around. I will miss his presence. All his words of encouragement and life will no longer be there to lift me higher. But today, i see god's greater plan. The disappearance of john has brought about a whole new light in my life, jianming. I may have lost a row of guiding light in a single street, but i have received a dozen times more light in my life, which can fill an entire city. Every path i walk i shall see christ at the end, for ultimately he is the source of all light in the world. And with this, i once again praise the lord with all my heart, and i leave the outcome of every event in my life into his hands.
The first stab:
Today at work, we kind of screwed up by lying the key around, and the officer came and deliberately took the key away. and declared his hostility on us, intending to give us extras as punishment. I have really no qualms about his anger, because its the second time that this incident has happened. But i only wished he would look deeper into the matter and find out the source of the problem, instead of just giving a general and superficial solution like punishing us. Extra work on weekends are okay, im totally fine with it. Its the missing of service that im concerned with, especially with the month of dec arriving. I really hope that i get my christmas weekend free.
The second stab on the same spot:
I was really disturbed by the entire issue, because i normally dont get into trouble at all. Since primary school, i've always tried to keep my slate clean, making sure i dont get myself any unnecessary scoldings. But in this short span of a few months, it has been a turbulent journey for me. I was hence, rather upset with myself for getting into trouble again, and i brought this negative attitude to bff meeting. Unexpectedly, things didnt turn out much better during the meeting. The event was only 2 days away, and i had completely no knowledge that the entire order of events was restructured. Being part of the organising team, i was firstly, shocked that the information that the order of events was revamped was not dissemminated out accurately. Secondly, i felt really guilty for not probing and updating myself on any new changes to the event. Furthermore, one entire segment of the games was taken out; the segment that was supposedly to be hosted by me. Not only had i gotten most of the materials i needed ready, i even had my script written typed out! I saw this golden opportunity given to me as a chance to grow, to rise up in my confidence, and i put in the required effort to ensure success. Unfortunately, this segment was removed, and to think that i was still rehearsing and memorising my script minutes before the meeting! But perhaps the most painful was the indifference portrayed generally. But this is really uncool, and I shall not elaborate.
I immediately wrote in my itouch "God, give me strength", and through faith, i told myself, you probably are not ready for this yet. And deep down i know its true. I knew i wasnt 100% ready for it yet, but i was ready to stretch my faith and trust in god to carry me to my maximum potential. But i guess god knew this wasnt the right time yet. To be rather honest, one part of me was rather relieved that this responsibility was lifted off my shoulders, but the other part of me knew that this would have been a golden opportunity to test and stretch my faith. Nevertheless, i decided to believe that god has a greater plan for me, and this was not the time.
But the real reason that really inspired me and pulled me out of this valley was the presence of a sacrificial heart in each of the team members. All of them had such faith and confidence in the entire event, and they continually volunteered to provide for the event, especially huiyu, who was exceptional today. She volunteered to buy and fill the balloons, bring torchlight, whistle, buy the red dots, bring the people there and even volunteered to share what she felt first! Everything that we needed to do, she said she was willing to do it. And it was quite clear to me that she wasnt going to be able to bring the people there and get the balloons simultaneously, and in my heart i was like, huh. how is that going to be possible. But she said it with so much conviction that she could do it, it really touched me. Isnt this the very core foundation of christianity; doing the impossible through faith in christ who strengthens you, the exact and perfect mindset every christian should have? At a secondary one level, whether by pure luck or accident, she has displayed a tremendous amount of christlikeness, sacrificing to build god's house and believing in the impossible through faith in christ. And i dont think anyone else in the meeting noticed this moment of magnificent display of christlikeness, but i tell you, i see her childlike faith gleaming from within her, and if she can inspire me through her small yet selfless acts, i truly believe she will grow up to be a great person.
On a lighter note, i went out with joey for a somewhat dinner at tauhuay. Seems like its becoming a weekly thing that we go out together for dinner/supper on a weekday. Shared with him what i felt about many stuff, including different things about what different people said. I was quite glad that he understood how i felt when my segment was removed from the order of events. It made me feel alot happier. And a cooler thing that happened was that jianming called me on my hp!! I shared with him via sms about the stuff that happened today, and he called me to tell me about what i should do etc.
It was heartwarming. I feel really honored to be able to receive so much attention from him, and the best thing that happened was that he said next time if i had any problems or issues regarding life, he would very much want to hear my problems so that he can guide me as to what i should do and how i should face it. This sentence made me really touched, that such a busy person was actually concerned about my problems, and even wanted to share my problems anytime. Acts like these are like nitro to me; they boost my speed in this race for god.
A few weeks ago, i was telling myself how much i will miss john when hes not around. I will miss his presence. All his words of encouragement and life will no longer be there to lift me higher. But today, i see god's greater plan. The disappearance of john has brought about a whole new light in my life, jianming. I may have lost a row of guiding light in a single street, but i have received a dozen times more light in my life, which can fill an entire city. Every path i walk i shall see christ at the end, for ultimately he is the source of all light in the world. And with this, i once again praise the lord with all my heart, and i leave the outcome of every event in my life into his hands.
Friday, November 12, 2010
My First Motivations.
Okay in this post im gonna talk about how i ended up in hogc and my motivations to carry on attending hogc. But firstly im just gonna set the context a little bit first and talk about some stuff that happened today.
Something irrelevant that happened the past few days was a seminar that i was involved in. It was probably the first major event that i helped out in as part of the organising commitee. It was quite exciting to be part of the backstage crew. In the past i was always the sheep being herded by the ushers, and always listening to instructions while blending in with the crowd. But this time, I participated as part of the organising commitee, so i was the one herding the sheeps. And the power of the herding instinct is so great. Just tell a few people to move and everyone will follow naturally. But of course, theres always the stubborn people that dont want to move. And i know how irritating it is when people keep asking you to move quicker and quicker when you just dont feel like walking faster. So today i more or less gave them the freedom to lag behind and stone etc, in light of spreading daniel's policy of creating a peaceful, happy and stressfree environment for everyone to embrace in!
And of course another thing i've learnt is that events and activities can only drag longer; it can never be shorter than scheduled. Its always better to let them wait for the next activity, rather than to rush everyone to meet the timings for the next activity. And thus, i shall remember this simple rule i've learnt and apply it on all my future management projects that i may have. And argh. im getting arrowed by a few irritating people. Yet again, God is testing me with another trial or tribulation. Will i continue to love them and even offer up my other cheek, or will i remain silent and accept, or will i silent rage? I only hope for the best.
Went for bff meeting. It was super productive today! Every meeting i see the same familiar faces; they never fail to turn up for every meeting! Its because of such sacrifices people put in that make every meeting productive and on-schedule, and hence the event successful. And these sacrifices did not stop here, but went on throughout the meeting. Sacrificial volunteerism is perhaps the most important ingredient to make things work, and is also the fundamental inspiration towards team excellence. And it works exactly like a chain effect. But sadly, this is never the case in many situations out there. Which is why much work needs to be done to build his kingdom!
Talked to joey about the burdens of a leader. I think being a spiritual leader requires so much sacrifice, the most fundamental being your rest. On top of all the compulsory/enforced burdens that they already have, ie with school, work,family etc, they take on another heavy load of optional burdens willingly, ie the troubles of their disciples, the life of their disciplies, ministry. Its really not easy handling and juggling so many things at hand. I often wonder to myself, why would anyone take on such heavy burdens on their shoulders? Dont they have enough problems at hand already? How can they ever expect themselves to excel with all the juggling they need to do? But i guess their motivation comes from a few things; the priceless treasures in heaven, the leap in spiritual growth, the genuine happiness they feel when they change a life. And its true. Amidst all the stress and woes they might have, their purpose in life is clear. The life they live, they live by faith in the Son of God who loved them and gave himself for them.
I remember being very reluctant to go to church the first time in easter. I was living a perfectly fine life, with the right amount of friends, family time, tv time etc. Adding in a church on saturdays would have meant chaos to my schedule, because my precious saturday evenings would be spent normally with stoners. And what more i was staying in in base then. Having only 2 days free out of a week, spending a saturday evening at church would be a heavy sacrifice for me. But having promised bai and dessy that i would go with them to church one day, and after rejecting their ofers for the past few weeks, i finally decided to move my lazy self off my house to be there on easter. I cant really remember what happened the subsequent weeks other than the many hi's i got, but i just wanna highlight a few people that made a gigantic difference to my motivation to continue attending church. Bai and dessy were of course my key motivations, but there was someone else who made a drastic difference, and that person was qianqian. I vividly remember on that very easter day, i stayed back in church and talked to her continuously for two whole hours. We exchanged numbers and from that very day, my life took a complete turn. Weekly for almost two months, she would sms me "daniel, going for svc this weekend : )?" with almost 10 different variations, but all with the same intent. She would tell me all about whats gonna happen for svc, and she would update me on special events that was gonna happen the following weeks. Then, I didnt really bother about all those upcoming events because it would just mean sacrificing more of my sat evenings. So actually i was just fuyan-ing her most of the time. However, she was really persistent, smsing me every week to attend svc. And only through much of her persuation and pestering along with bai and dessy did i decide to continue attending svcs, and that was when i took the first leap of faith to accept the presence of a living god.
Looking back, i could never have commited myself to go to church if not for qianqian and her persistent invitations. And this is something i can never thank her enough for. Putting me in her shoes then, i would probably have given up trying to persuade this irritating fellow, and carried on with life. But she had faith that god will move in my life, and God certainly did. I now see the importance of believing. And because of this one faithfilled act from her to move a boulder, i will always remember it, and hence, use this as an inspiration to move even the largest mountains and part the deepest seas.
Something irrelevant that happened the past few days was a seminar that i was involved in. It was probably the first major event that i helped out in as part of the organising commitee. It was quite exciting to be part of the backstage crew. In the past i was always the sheep being herded by the ushers, and always listening to instructions while blending in with the crowd. But this time, I participated as part of the organising commitee, so i was the one herding the sheeps. And the power of the herding instinct is so great. Just tell a few people to move and everyone will follow naturally. But of course, theres always the stubborn people that dont want to move. And i know how irritating it is when people keep asking you to move quicker and quicker when you just dont feel like walking faster. So today i more or less gave them the freedom to lag behind and stone etc, in light of spreading daniel's policy of creating a peaceful, happy and stressfree environment for everyone to embrace in!
And of course another thing i've learnt is that events and activities can only drag longer; it can never be shorter than scheduled. Its always better to let them wait for the next activity, rather than to rush everyone to meet the timings for the next activity. And thus, i shall remember this simple rule i've learnt and apply it on all my future management projects that i may have. And argh. im getting arrowed by a few irritating people. Yet again, God is testing me with another trial or tribulation. Will i continue to love them and even offer up my other cheek, or will i remain silent and accept, or will i silent rage? I only hope for the best.
Went for bff meeting. It was super productive today! Every meeting i see the same familiar faces; they never fail to turn up for every meeting! Its because of such sacrifices people put in that make every meeting productive and on-schedule, and hence the event successful. And these sacrifices did not stop here, but went on throughout the meeting. Sacrificial volunteerism is perhaps the most important ingredient to make things work, and is also the fundamental inspiration towards team excellence. And it works exactly like a chain effect. But sadly, this is never the case in many situations out there. Which is why much work needs to be done to build his kingdom!
Talked to joey about the burdens of a leader. I think being a spiritual leader requires so much sacrifice, the most fundamental being your rest. On top of all the compulsory/enforced burdens that they already have, ie with school, work,family etc, they take on another heavy load of optional burdens willingly, ie the troubles of their disciples, the life of their disciplies, ministry. Its really not easy handling and juggling so many things at hand. I often wonder to myself, why would anyone take on such heavy burdens on their shoulders? Dont they have enough problems at hand already? How can they ever expect themselves to excel with all the juggling they need to do? But i guess their motivation comes from a few things; the priceless treasures in heaven, the leap in spiritual growth, the genuine happiness they feel when they change a life. And its true. Amidst all the stress and woes they might have, their purpose in life is clear. The life they live, they live by faith in the Son of God who loved them and gave himself for them.
I remember being very reluctant to go to church the first time in easter. I was living a perfectly fine life, with the right amount of friends, family time, tv time etc. Adding in a church on saturdays would have meant chaos to my schedule, because my precious saturday evenings would be spent normally with stoners. And what more i was staying in in base then. Having only 2 days free out of a week, spending a saturday evening at church would be a heavy sacrifice for me. But having promised bai and dessy that i would go with them to church one day, and after rejecting their ofers for the past few weeks, i finally decided to move my lazy self off my house to be there on easter. I cant really remember what happened the subsequent weeks other than the many hi's i got, but i just wanna highlight a few people that made a gigantic difference to my motivation to continue attending church. Bai and dessy were of course my key motivations, but there was someone else who made a drastic difference, and that person was qianqian. I vividly remember on that very easter day, i stayed back in church and talked to her continuously for two whole hours. We exchanged numbers and from that very day, my life took a complete turn. Weekly for almost two months, she would sms me "daniel, going for svc this weekend : )?" with almost 10 different variations, but all with the same intent. She would tell me all about whats gonna happen for svc, and she would update me on special events that was gonna happen the following weeks. Then, I didnt really bother about all those upcoming events because it would just mean sacrificing more of my sat evenings. So actually i was just fuyan-ing her most of the time. However, she was really persistent, smsing me every week to attend svc. And only through much of her persuation and pestering along with bai and dessy did i decide to continue attending svcs, and that was when i took the first leap of faith to accept the presence of a living god.
Looking back, i could never have commited myself to go to church if not for qianqian and her persistent invitations. And this is something i can never thank her enough for. Putting me in her shoes then, i would probably have given up trying to persuade this irritating fellow, and carried on with life. But she had faith that god will move in my life, and God certainly did. I now see the importance of believing. And because of this one faithfilled act from her to move a boulder, i will always remember it, and hence, use this as an inspiration to move even the largest mountains and part the deepest seas.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
My Best Life.
After every weekend svc, i feel that im appreciating and loving pastors more and more. Take last weekend for example. For once, i actually felt rather disappointed that pastor how isnt here with us to preach the word. Im beginning to see his labour in this church, and beginning to realise the abundant wisdom he has. And hes only 40! And what Jieru said is true. I can see that all the young leaders in church directly below under him are all beginning to display shadows of pastor how. And if you need to combine the young leaders together to get one pastor how, then this pastor how must really be somebody.And of course, not forgetting pastor lia. The thing about pastor lia is that she is just so fluent and articulate. Her vocab is so wide, she can paraphase the same point in 100 different ways. And this is of course a very useful skill to have, especially when you need to pray for people. She has the gift of language, and when she is never limited and restricted in her vocab when praying. And this is perhaps what makes her especially powerful, she can identify every single shade in our life, whether in the deepest hole or the most hidden corner, and hence shine god's light onto those very shades.
But of course, my favourite worship leader is definitely roy. His praise and worship for god is always so flawless, its as though you're actually hearing an album recording of the song. Its always so good to know that roy is the one leading the worship songs, because he is the one that can singlehandedly carry the entire worship of the church to a 100%.
Since a few weeks back, i've upped my basic offering every svc. And its so good to know that even after doing that, the rate of outflow of cash from my wallet is much lower than i expected it to be. Its as though my wallet auto refills by itself every week! And its november. Time for bf soon.
And wow. pj john and zl are pcgls. They definitely have what it takes to lead more people, after all that i've seen them done, not only for me but for the entire cg. They are definitely key personels of the cg and its about time they take up a greater responsibility to care for even more people. And its kind of cool, because john is my followupleader and pj+zl are my cg tls. Its great to see them rising up, because they will be my greatest inspirations to change the world.
Last weekend, pastor lia said about not just turning up, but tuning up to wordlife. And im so glad this sermon came exactly at the right time. A while too early, i would have dismissed the entire sermon as something i need to do next time; a while too late and i would have wasted even more time in gaining the wisdom of God. Now that i know my love for God is 100%, its time to love him in the immeasurable ways. A few weeks back, i spilled sugary drink on my bible, and since then, it has been rotting in my room. I've been feeling kind of guilty then, but after sermon last weekend, I realised that this might just have been part of god's plan all along. I think this is definitely god's way to tell me that its time i stop relying on using substitute bibles and get myself a new, personal bible. But this time, not just any bible, but a proper study bible. And actually, i thought of buying it after bf. But after doing some simple cost benefit analysis, I realised that the price of the study bible is not going change whether i buy it now or buy it later. So assuming ceteris paribus, although saving money is of priority now, tapping on my reserves now or later will not make any difference whatsoever. In fact, the knowledge im gonna gain from buying a study bible now compared to 3 months later would have already been more valuable than whatever interest or inflation i might experience if i spend later. Or actually whatever inflation there may be would have been negligible and accounted for since the real value of the bible would still be the same. In other words, i should just buy the study bible asap. And then i shall start to sharpen my sword so that when the moment comes, victory will be certain.
And lastly, now that followup is over, i know that my love for god is an assuring 100%. And now that i've completed my first milestone, its time to begin another journey; to be able to love him in the immeasurable ways. And the most basic and fundamental would be to first read and learn of his words. Hence from the next post onwards, there will be a change. An advancement by going back to the basics.
But of course, my favourite worship leader is definitely roy. His praise and worship for god is always so flawless, its as though you're actually hearing an album recording of the song. Its always so good to know that roy is the one leading the worship songs, because he is the one that can singlehandedly carry the entire worship of the church to a 100%.
Since a few weeks back, i've upped my basic offering every svc. And its so good to know that even after doing that, the rate of outflow of cash from my wallet is much lower than i expected it to be. Its as though my wallet auto refills by itself every week! And its november. Time for bf soon.
And wow. pj john and zl are pcgls. They definitely have what it takes to lead more people, after all that i've seen them done, not only for me but for the entire cg. They are definitely key personels of the cg and its about time they take up a greater responsibility to care for even more people. And its kind of cool, because john is my followupleader and pj+zl are my cg tls. Its great to see them rising up, because they will be my greatest inspirations to change the world.
Last weekend, pastor lia said about not just turning up, but tuning up to wordlife. And im so glad this sermon came exactly at the right time. A while too early, i would have dismissed the entire sermon as something i need to do next time; a while too late and i would have wasted even more time in gaining the wisdom of God. Now that i know my love for God is 100%, its time to love him in the immeasurable ways. A few weeks back, i spilled sugary drink on my bible, and since then, it has been rotting in my room. I've been feeling kind of guilty then, but after sermon last weekend, I realised that this might just have been part of god's plan all along. I think this is definitely god's way to tell me that its time i stop relying on using substitute bibles and get myself a new, personal bible. But this time, not just any bible, but a proper study bible. And actually, i thought of buying it after bf. But after doing some simple cost benefit analysis, I realised that the price of the study bible is not going change whether i buy it now or buy it later. So assuming ceteris paribus, although saving money is of priority now, tapping on my reserves now or later will not make any difference whatsoever. In fact, the knowledge im gonna gain from buying a study bible now compared to 3 months later would have already been more valuable than whatever interest or inflation i might experience if i spend later. Or actually whatever inflation there may be would have been negligible and accounted for since the real value of the bible would still be the same. In other words, i should just buy the study bible asap. And then i shall start to sharpen my sword so that when the moment comes, victory will be certain.
And lastly, now that followup is over, i know that my love for god is an assuring 100%. And now that i've completed my first milestone, its time to begin another journey; to be able to love him in the immeasurable ways. And the most basic and fundamental would be to first read and learn of his words. Hence from the next post onwards, there will be a change. An advancement by going back to the basics.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Stupid head.
Loving people is just so tiring. I cant believe i've been trying to love people for so long already. I love god but i just cant stand myself trying to love people. Im tired. From today onwards, i shall love people i want to love, and not love people i need to love. I shall smile at people i want to smile to, and not smile to people i need to smile too. Having the perfect love from god is enough to sustain this entire life. This is it. i shall seek no more. Nothing more. Nothing more untill a revelation falls on me.
Dear lord, unless you do something real quick, i think im gonna give up. I asked to carry your burden, and wow, im already feeling the weight.. I cant believe how you managed to live through eternity despite of all the imperfections of man. You even died to save us. No words can describe how grateful i am for your blood. Now i know why you are God, because through you all things are possible.
Well.. god, because i love you so much, i shall continue to carry this weight upon my shoulders. To exemplify your glory to the rest of the world.
Wow i cant believe during the past hour i actually thought out a whole load of garbage using this stupidirritatingheadofminewhichneverstopstotakeabreakevenat2ammidnight. Just moments ago, Satan pulled me into darkness, but thankfully, God's light shines! And once again i remind myself, the life i live, i live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Peace in God.
A quote from Pastor, "Hands raised up, face lifted up with tears rolling down our cheeks in awe of he glory of our God". I believe this is perhaps the epitome of worship and love for God, and im so happy to know that i've been doing all the right things every week! Once again, service in heart of god church has not failed me at all. I really felt the presence of God coming down today during worship, especially during the song desperate people, within 5 sec of the chorus, i somehow started to tear crazily. And incredibly, the tears did not come down slowly, but instead caught me totally by surprised and overflowed like mad. That is the power and wonder that comes from the God that i serve and live my life for! And right at the very moment a flashback of all my previous sins came into my mind, and boy, was it alot of very sticky sins in my life! And coincidentally or maybe even pre-arranged by god, Pastor preached about overcoming sins in our lives! How very apt! And right now, im so thankful that I can be made sinless because of a scapegoat which has redeemed our lives. All i have to do is to take a step foward and touch his outstretched hands, and from Luke 5:13, God is willing to forgive all our sins!
And last week after building fund CG, i somehow started to cry also during the worship song towards the ending. After you realise how much Jesus has done for us, and when you start to yearn and reach out to him and call out his name, the holy spirit will walk up to you and touch your hand and heart, and an uncontrollable presence will fall on you, leaving you to tear helplessly. Last week i received revelations on obtaining the spirit, soul and heart of giving. And for this entire week, I had ZERO worries about not being able to fulfil building fund! Before CG on building fund, I dare say i was completely flustered and lost, because the amount i pledged was just not fulfillable with my current income. But now after CG on building fund, im completely calm and peaceful. Because i know that as long as i walk this earth with faith in the Son of God, nothing can stop me, for if christ is for me, who can be against me! Im really amazed and in awe at how peaceful i felt the past week, and this is definitely fuel to keep the fire in my heart burning for Christ!
Made a trip this morning down to little india for squadron heritage tour on the practices of indians. One of it was to visit the hindu temple along the road. I walked in with a little prayer to God, for him to give me strength to stand firm and strong in the temple. The number of idols they have all over the entire temple is just incredible, and the very first thing that came to my head was that they broke one of the most basic commandment already. I realised that they have rather logical stories and explanations behind each statue they have, and i will respect their religion. But during the entire time, i know my God is and will always be the greatest.
Im so touched by John 19:28-30. Jesus knew that everything written in the scriptures would happen, and before he died, he still took the trouble to fulfil one more thing on the cross; the ritual needed to be carried out so that the entire process of forgiveness and salvation can happen to man! He is the messiah!
Yay i finally decided on ministry, lights ministry is where im currently headed! But still not confirm though. Had dinner with Dl4+ Jian ming. Zhilin brought me to headoffice for a tour to see the leaders of the church at work last week. And i said hi to a few of the leaders, including jianming, and he totally forgot about me today! Argh. Thats the problem with seeing so many people everyday. You lose the personal touch. But then again, i guess important people have every reason to accidentally forget other less important people. The Jianming i saw in headoffice was someone whom i would never have thought of wanting to talk to. He looked so stern,busy and important in the office, it was almost similar to trying to approach an officer to chillax with. But well, i guess hes a pretty nice guy after all! I strongly believe Zhilin is the one who will be bringing me closer to the leaders in the church. John, Peijun, Zhilin. I cant lose any one of these leaders.
And i didnt know who Bruno Mars was and what Just the way you are sounded like until today! I guess theres really a need to bridge the gap between the young and the old!
And last week after building fund CG, i somehow started to cry also during the worship song towards the ending. After you realise how much Jesus has done for us, and when you start to yearn and reach out to him and call out his name, the holy spirit will walk up to you and touch your hand and heart, and an uncontrollable presence will fall on you, leaving you to tear helplessly. Last week i received revelations on obtaining the spirit, soul and heart of giving. And for this entire week, I had ZERO worries about not being able to fulfil building fund! Before CG on building fund, I dare say i was completely flustered and lost, because the amount i pledged was just not fulfillable with my current income. But now after CG on building fund, im completely calm and peaceful. Because i know that as long as i walk this earth with faith in the Son of God, nothing can stop me, for if christ is for me, who can be against me! Im really amazed and in awe at how peaceful i felt the past week, and this is definitely fuel to keep the fire in my heart burning for Christ!
Made a trip this morning down to little india for squadron heritage tour on the practices of indians. One of it was to visit the hindu temple along the road. I walked in with a little prayer to God, for him to give me strength to stand firm and strong in the temple. The number of idols they have all over the entire temple is just incredible, and the very first thing that came to my head was that they broke one of the most basic commandment already. I realised that they have rather logical stories and explanations behind each statue they have, and i will respect their religion. But during the entire time, i know my God is and will always be the greatest.
Im so touched by John 19:28-30. Jesus knew that everything written in the scriptures would happen, and before he died, he still took the trouble to fulfil one more thing on the cross; the ritual needed to be carried out so that the entire process of forgiveness and salvation can happen to man! He is the messiah!
Yay i finally decided on ministry, lights ministry is where im currently headed! But still not confirm though. Had dinner with Dl4+ Jian ming. Zhilin brought me to headoffice for a tour to see the leaders of the church at work last week. And i said hi to a few of the leaders, including jianming, and he totally forgot about me today! Argh. Thats the problem with seeing so many people everyday. You lose the personal touch. But then again, i guess important people have every reason to accidentally forget other less important people. The Jianming i saw in headoffice was someone whom i would never have thought of wanting to talk to. He looked so stern,busy and important in the office, it was almost similar to trying to approach an officer to chillax with. But well, i guess hes a pretty nice guy after all! I strongly believe Zhilin is the one who will be bringing me closer to the leaders in the church. John, Peijun, Zhilin. I cant lose any one of these leaders.
And i didnt know who Bruno Mars was and what Just the way you are sounded like until today! I guess theres really a need to bridge the gap between the young and the old!
Building positive energy.
Friday
Had driving lesson in the morning again, and for the 2nd time in the same week, i woke up late! This time i woke up at 8.28am when the lesson was supposed to start at 8.30am. Terrible terrible. Cannot be late liao. First lesson was horrible horrible horrible to the max. Got scolded like crazy by that same irritating instructor again. The thing about having different driving instructors each time is that they all want the learner to adapt to their style, so when each instructor demands for different standards, it becomes so painful to learn. Luckily for my second lesson, i had perhaps a most inspiring and motivating old man instructor. He told me if i kept up this standard and dont do major silly mistakes, i will do v well for my tp! And i personally felt that i really drove very smoothly for the 2nd lesson.
And all these while i thought i could perform better under stress and pressure. But now, I think i respond even better to a positive teaching and positive learning experience. I need to have lots and lots of encouragement and love during my learning. If i like what im learning and hearing, i will be absorbing and soaking at an unstoppable pace. And after recent events, i also found out that i have very very low self esteem. Its so low that my confidence can be shakened even by the slightest nudge. Thats exactly what happens when you become too open to corrections and faults. You see your faults too clearly everyday, you realise that you can never be perfect, or even to the extent of appearing fine. You just hear more and more faults everyday about yourself, you realise how imperfect and flawed you are actually. These words which could have been spoken with a genuine concern and purpose for a better change become words that are forever etched in his head. He can never forget his flaws again. And this is perhaps the greatest smasher of self esteem; when you cant even walk on this earth confidently about yourself. The ugly thoughts about yourself never ends. It is tragic but true. And that is why recently i've been trying to adopt a 'speaking life to others' attitude; give everyone lots of encouragement and confidence! Its perhaps the best medicine to make someone alive and confident again. But at the same time, i only speak what i see is true, and i strongly believe that all of us will live better knowing that we have at least 1 good trait which others appreciate, rather than having 999 bad traits which we need to change to become a better person.
Had driving lesson in the morning again, and for the 2nd time in the same week, i woke up late! This time i woke up at 8.28am when the lesson was supposed to start at 8.30am. Terrible terrible. Cannot be late liao. First lesson was horrible horrible horrible to the max. Got scolded like crazy by that same irritating instructor again. The thing about having different driving instructors each time is that they all want the learner to adapt to their style, so when each instructor demands for different standards, it becomes so painful to learn. Luckily for my second lesson, i had perhaps a most inspiring and motivating old man instructor. He told me if i kept up this standard and dont do major silly mistakes, i will do v well for my tp! And i personally felt that i really drove very smoothly for the 2nd lesson.
And all these while i thought i could perform better under stress and pressure. But now, I think i respond even better to a positive teaching and positive learning experience. I need to have lots and lots of encouragement and love during my learning. If i like what im learning and hearing, i will be absorbing and soaking at an unstoppable pace. And after recent events, i also found out that i have very very low self esteem. Its so low that my confidence can be shakened even by the slightest nudge. Thats exactly what happens when you become too open to corrections and faults. You see your faults too clearly everyday, you realise that you can never be perfect, or even to the extent of appearing fine. You just hear more and more faults everyday about yourself, you realise how imperfect and flawed you are actually. These words which could have been spoken with a genuine concern and purpose for a better change become words that are forever etched in his head. He can never forget his flaws again. And this is perhaps the greatest smasher of self esteem; when you cant even walk on this earth confidently about yourself. The ugly thoughts about yourself never ends. It is tragic but true. And that is why recently i've been trying to adopt a 'speaking life to others' attitude; give everyone lots of encouragement and confidence! Its perhaps the best medicine to make someone alive and confident again. But at the same time, i only speak what i see is true, and i strongly believe that all of us will live better knowing that we have at least 1 good trait which others appreciate, rather than having 999 bad traits which we need to change to become a better person.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Life.
Came home at 10.24pm today, and the first thing my mom said to me was, daniel, today come back so early ar!
Today's driving was alright, had that particular instructor i didnt like again. But at least he didnt scream at me the entire time, maybe for about 20min only. Hmm i think im getting rather used to being screamed at lately that im more or less indifferent or even immuned to being scolded alr. Thats good, because it means that my threshold for anger tolerance is getting higher and higher everyday. And one day, i may even smile to the person screaming at me and say thank you v much. That would definitely be what Jesus would have done. But for not, ill just keep everything into my heart and stay silent.
I found out that my bible isnt breeding ants actually, its just mould growing on it because of the right environmental conditions for growth. Moist, humid, dusty and sugary. But it kayy i dont need that bible anymore. i found my MOM's pocket bible hidden in a drawer! Like no wayy. I shall use it temporarily until i buy a studybible after bf. The ancient drawer in my bookshelf also has tons and tons of christian/catholic bibles and storybooks/short stories! Only today did i realise that my aunt bought me so so many bibles and books about jesus and god. I didnt appreciate her then, but now that i know God, i shall spend some time reading them and draw myself closer to God.
Argh im so busy these few days. On weekdays need to juggle intensive driving in morning with work in the afternoon to night. Weekends got svc, class, littleindiatrip, duty, bday celebration, stonerouting, bff planning.
Not forgetting dental, fear of recall and my random guitar practices whenever time permits. Oh man i need to have 30 hours a day for these few weeks.
Ahh. i think im superdupermega fail. i've had at least 10 chances to approach you! But i just couldnt muster up the courage. In the end i could only look at you and sigh to myself and then take the easy way out. This cannot do!
Today's driving was alright, had that particular instructor i didnt like again. But at least he didnt scream at me the entire time, maybe for about 20min only. Hmm i think im getting rather used to being screamed at lately that im more or less indifferent or even immuned to being scolded alr. Thats good, because it means that my threshold for anger tolerance is getting higher and higher everyday. And one day, i may even smile to the person screaming at me and say thank you v much. That would definitely be what Jesus would have done. But for not, ill just keep everything into my heart and stay silent.
I found out that my bible isnt breeding ants actually, its just mould growing on it because of the right environmental conditions for growth. Moist, humid, dusty and sugary. But it kayy i dont need that bible anymore. i found my MOM's pocket bible hidden in a drawer! Like no wayy. I shall use it temporarily until i buy a studybible after bf. The ancient drawer in my bookshelf also has tons and tons of christian/catholic bibles and storybooks/short stories! Only today did i realise that my aunt bought me so so many bibles and books about jesus and god. I didnt appreciate her then, but now that i know God, i shall spend some time reading them and draw myself closer to God.
Argh im so busy these few days. On weekdays need to juggle intensive driving in morning with work in the afternoon to night. Weekends got svc, class, littleindiatrip, duty, bday celebration, stonerouting, bff planning.
Not forgetting dental, fear of recall and my random guitar practices whenever time permits. Oh man i need to have 30 hours a day for these few weeks.
Ahh. i think im superdupermega fail. i've had at least 10 chances to approach you! But i just couldnt muster up the courage. In the end i could only look at you and sigh to myself and then take the easy way out. This cannot do!
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Hump.
Living a life with trenches is such a pessimistic point of view. I shall be optimistic and view my life as living a life with humps instead.
Had a much much much much betterx99 day today. Felt much more confident and alive. Had driving this morning at 10.20am. I woke up once at 8.00am and i went back to sleep. I woke up again at 10.16am and i almost got a heart attack. i chiong out of house like crazily fast and incredibly, i reached the driving centre at 10.36am. And i even took sbs bus instead of cabbing! Dont ask me how i managed to do it. I had a super cool instuctor today and i felt relaxed and confident. Must be the power of my prayer to god last night.
Ahhh i spilled sweet drink on my bible last weekend, then now my bible got ants(or maggots) breeding inside! disgusting. I wanted to like throw away and use my other bible for now, but i dont think i can ever forgive myself if i did that. For now, i washed my bible with water and removed the white eggs. Hopefully i can use it again when it dries up. Or i'll put it in a plastic bag and keep it in my pillow, and let "Bai's theory of diffusion of knowledge" come into play every night when im sleeping. Im gonna buy a different version of the bible. nkjv! hopefully it doesnt mess up my finance. And I shall buy a study bible after bf season.
Had yet another talk about God with my Dad. And once again i saw his eyes beaming with the glory of God, and this light just shone onto me, and its so soothing, because this light came not only from the glory of God, my spiritual father, but also from my earthly father! Its really superduper cool to see 2 fathers in 1 father! My dad told me something which i felt was really true. People around the world all want to know what its like in heaven, and some portrayed certain images about heaven to everyone else. And expectedly, no one will ever truely believe them, because they know those people havent seen personally seen heaven at all. But someone who died on the cross and was resurrected from the dead three days later went to heaven and back to the earth told everyone what heaven was like. And its so sad that so many people still didnt believe what heaven really is, although this time the descriptions came from a person who has been to heaven and back! Man are weakminded creatures of such little faith and trust. Im definitely gonna lead a life different from a stereotype man on this earth. This life i live, i live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
But one thing that really bothered me was that my dad mentioned something which conflicted what i learnt from pastors. After i heard what he said, it sounded pretty absurd to me. But my dad said that was what his pastor preached, and after i heard it, i got a little worried. I tried to correct him to no avail. I guess i can only pray and leave everything into gods hand, for god's magic to work on my dad. I really hope god will be a guiding light for my dad, and point to him the correct mindset and path to undertake.
I shall talk about healing of a sickness in my life, fellowship and indebtedness for my next posts when i have time!
Had a much much much much betterx99 day today. Felt much more confident and alive. Had driving this morning at 10.20am. I woke up once at 8.00am and i went back to sleep. I woke up again at 10.16am and i almost got a heart attack. i chiong out of house like crazily fast and incredibly, i reached the driving centre at 10.36am. And i even took sbs bus instead of cabbing! Dont ask me how i managed to do it. I had a super cool instuctor today and i felt relaxed and confident. Must be the power of my prayer to god last night.
Ahhh i spilled sweet drink on my bible last weekend, then now my bible got ants(or maggots) breeding inside! disgusting. I wanted to like throw away and use my other bible for now, but i dont think i can ever forgive myself if i did that. For now, i washed my bible with water and removed the white eggs. Hopefully i can use it again when it dries up. Or i'll put it in a plastic bag and keep it in my pillow, and let "Bai's theory of diffusion of knowledge" come into play every night when im sleeping. Im gonna buy a different version of the bible. nkjv! hopefully it doesnt mess up my finance. And I shall buy a study bible after bf season.
Had yet another talk about God with my Dad. And once again i saw his eyes beaming with the glory of God, and this light just shone onto me, and its so soothing, because this light came not only from the glory of God, my spiritual father, but also from my earthly father! Its really superduper cool to see 2 fathers in 1 father! My dad told me something which i felt was really true. People around the world all want to know what its like in heaven, and some portrayed certain images about heaven to everyone else. And expectedly, no one will ever truely believe them, because they know those people havent seen personally seen heaven at all. But someone who died on the cross and was resurrected from the dead three days later went to heaven and back to the earth told everyone what heaven was like. And its so sad that so many people still didnt believe what heaven really is, although this time the descriptions came from a person who has been to heaven and back! Man are weakminded creatures of such little faith and trust. Im definitely gonna lead a life different from a stereotype man on this earth. This life i live, i live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
But one thing that really bothered me was that my dad mentioned something which conflicted what i learnt from pastors. After i heard what he said, it sounded pretty absurd to me. But my dad said that was what his pastor preached, and after i heard it, i got a little worried. I tried to correct him to no avail. I guess i can only pray and leave everything into gods hand, for god's magic to work on my dad. I really hope god will be a guiding light for my dad, and point to him the correct mindset and path to undertake.
I shall talk about healing of a sickness in my life, fellowship and indebtedness for my next posts when i have time!
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Trench.
Today was a very sad day. Felt so distracted and moodless to do anything properly. I even talked exceptionally little at work today. I think the glory of God is slowly fading away from my life. I cant even feel Christ living in me anymore. And this feeling totally sucks. I feel so separated from the love of God, so separated from his kingdom. The feeling i have now, its just so different. I feel lost and purposeless, upset and weary, drained of any confidence in myself. The fire in my heart is becoming a flickering flame. Its sad but its true. In just one day, im backsliding.. drastically.
I need to bounce back up and regain my strength and confidence! But i know only through christ can i possibly steer back on track in this race for god. And i pray god, that you will come into my life, and put me back on track. Every day i spend without you in my life becomes an awful day, every second i spend without you in my life is a wasted second. Dear lord, fill me up with purpose, flood my life with faith. draw me closer to you as I present my entire self as a living sacrifice to your kingdom. Mould me in your way, and let your glory again shine ever so proudly in my life!
Dear lord, remember the times when i could just call on you and you would appear straightaway to be my guiding light in the decisions i make. Remember the times when your glory shone in my life, and i could walk this earth with authority and victory. Remember the times when you were always there to love me and talk to me whenever i needed you. Remember the times when i felt so alive and free, because i know christ lives in me. Why is it that when i call for you now, i hear nothing but silence? Its really devastating and almost painful, because i know it meant that you havent found refuge in my heart. But believe me god, i will never give up on this race for you. I will forever search for you, even to the end of this time. I am very certain that this time after i find you, im gonna experience you on a whole new level like never before. And this time, I will hold you and grab you so tightly, your place in my heart will forever be unshakened. I will never, never let you go again.
People undivided Lord hear us sing
We are Yours and You are our King
My prayer just now was so very lacking of annointment. I really hope its because i didnt turn on any worship music which made it so.
I need to bounce back up and regain my strength and confidence! But i know only through christ can i possibly steer back on track in this race for god. And i pray god, that you will come into my life, and put me back on track. Every day i spend without you in my life becomes an awful day, every second i spend without you in my life is a wasted second. Dear lord, fill me up with purpose, flood my life with faith. draw me closer to you as I present my entire self as a living sacrifice to your kingdom. Mould me in your way, and let your glory again shine ever so proudly in my life!
Dear lord, remember the times when i could just call on you and you would appear straightaway to be my guiding light in the decisions i make. Remember the times when your glory shone in my life, and i could walk this earth with authority and victory. Remember the times when you were always there to love me and talk to me whenever i needed you. Remember the times when i felt so alive and free, because i know christ lives in me. Why is it that when i call for you now, i hear nothing but silence? Its really devastating and almost painful, because i know it meant that you havent found refuge in my heart. But believe me god, i will never give up on this race for you. I will forever search for you, even to the end of this time. I am very certain that this time after i find you, im gonna experience you on a whole new level like never before. And this time, I will hold you and grab you so tightly, your place in my heart will forever be unshakened. I will never, never let you go again.
People undivided Lord hear us sing
We are Yours and You are our King
My prayer just now was so very lacking of annointment. I really hope its because i didnt turn on any worship music which made it so.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
This world will never win my heart
This world will never win my heart. This world will never win my heart. This world will never win my heart. This world will never win my heart. This world will never win my heart. This world will never win my heart. This world will never win my heart. This world will never win my heart. This world will never win my heart. This world will never win my heart. This world will never win my heart. This world will never win my heart. This world will never win my heart. This world will never win my heart. This world will never win my heart. This world will never win my heart. This world will never win my heart. This world will never win my heart. This world will never win my heart. This world will never win my heart. This world will never win my heart. This world will never win my heart. This world will never win my heart. This world will never win my heart.
So much death in those words.. I dont think i can ever live again. I cant wait to join God in heaven, with his perfect love and perfect judgement, with eternal life.
So much death in those words.. I dont think i can ever live again. I cant wait to join God in heaven, with his perfect love and perfect judgement, with eternal life.
Friday, October 22, 2010
BF Discipline.
Arghhh still no recall yet. im sick of the suspense. Cant they just get it over and done with. bleh. So much for all the inaccurate predictions. But i do hope the prediction that it'll come tomorrow doesnt come true!
For the past 5 days this week, im proud to say i've disciplined myself to spend minimally at base! $0.80 a day. But even with this minimal spending, im still rather flustered over how im gonna manage to save enough. And furthermore lead this kind of fasting lifestyle for the coming months. Its definitely my first time having excess money but thinking twice about spending it. I really hope i can draw strength from God to touch my life. People say, when you acquire a heart of giving, God will come down on you like never before. If theres a time to believe what people say, the time is definitely now. First week of 4 months and im feeling the weariness of saving. I really need him to be alive in me 24/7, and for him to speak life to me whenever i call out to him. The time has come, to stand for all we believe in. I shall continue to walk this path, for i have faith that you will answer my call.
Had another BFF meeting today. Today was incredibly productive for a simple meeting. We're definitely on the right track! Got so much work to do now. And i have no idea how im recce the place when my schedule is like superduper packed. Argh. On the bright side, the entire team is definitely bonding and learning from one another during this project.
Im so happy theres svc tml! and john is coming back! Cant wait to see him and share everything that has happened in the past 3 weeks with him. And i definitely cant wait to worship god beside him! I just hope recall doesnt come tomorrow..
I need a revelation for fellowship and BF. And i really hope it comes quick.
For the past 5 days this week, im proud to say i've disciplined myself to spend minimally at base! $0.80 a day. But even with this minimal spending, im still rather flustered over how im gonna manage to save enough. And furthermore lead this kind of fasting lifestyle for the coming months. Its definitely my first time having excess money but thinking twice about spending it. I really hope i can draw strength from God to touch my life. People say, when you acquire a heart of giving, God will come down on you like never before. If theres a time to believe what people say, the time is definitely now. First week of 4 months and im feeling the weariness of saving. I really need him to be alive in me 24/7, and for him to speak life to me whenever i call out to him. The time has come, to stand for all we believe in. I shall continue to walk this path, for i have faith that you will answer my call.
Had another BFF meeting today. Today was incredibly productive for a simple meeting. We're definitely on the right track! Got so much work to do now. And i have no idea how im recce the place when my schedule is like superduper packed. Argh. On the bright side, the entire team is definitely bonding and learning from one another during this project.
Im so happy theres svc tml! and john is coming back! Cant wait to see him and share everything that has happened in the past 3 weeks with him. And i definitely cant wait to worship god beside him! I just hope recall doesnt come tomorrow..
I need a revelation for fellowship and BF. And i really hope it comes quick.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
BFF!
For the past few weeks, i've been asking people, "how come you know everyone who you walk past?" And the answer they gave me was, " just know lor, after a while you will automatically know people outside your cg one." And i told god, "how cool it would be if i could know alot of people in church too!"
And today, my first opportunity to fellowshipping with the church came! Amidst all the excitement that im gonna meet new friends, it still feels weird to be part of the organising team for such an important event. I dont feel as confident as im supposed to be, because in the past, almost every one of these events i attend are relatively boring. I really hope i gain strength from god to be able to put in effort to this event and make it a success.
Luke 16:10
Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.
Whenever i need comfort, i can always take joy to know that the lord my god hears my every single cry and woe, sees my every single action and deed and feel my heart and love for others. And every single prize i forsake on this earth will be replaced with treasures in heaven.
And today, my first opportunity to fellowshipping with the church came! Amidst all the excitement that im gonna meet new friends, it still feels weird to be part of the organising team for such an important event. I dont feel as confident as im supposed to be, because in the past, almost every one of these events i attend are relatively boring. I really hope i gain strength from god to be able to put in effort to this event and make it a success.
Luke 16:10
Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.
Whenever i need comfort, i can always take joy to know that the lord my god hears my every single cry and woe, sees my every single action and deed and feel my heart and love for others. And every single prize i forsake on this earth will be replaced with treasures in heaven.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Mum's Birthday
Today during dinner, my dad told me that last night, my mom was super upset. because on her birthday, other than a lunch celebration with relatives, no one in my family bothered to write her a card or buy her a present. I feel that im such a wretch. For the past many years, my mom has been constantly giving to the family, giving her youth, time, effort, and worked/studied long hours just so she could provide us with everything we needed. For so long, i've always been wanting to do something for her, but everytime, i always pull back what i wanted to do. Im so disappointing, i have always been taking and taking and have not given back to her at all. Deep down, i really honor and love her. But its just so hard to show my love to her. Not just her, but to my entire family. I think its partly because of the culture in our family, we almost never buy presents for one another even on special occasions, and no one ever says i love you to one another. Its just a silent consensus between every family member that we love one another. Its just so tragic. I have learnt so much from church about giving to others, yet i have not been practicing a thing i've learnt about loving one another. And even more so, to my earthly parents. I have really disappointed and disobeyed God for not honoring my parents. How i wish i could show her the same love i have for God, the same fire and conviction i have towards honoring god!
When i grow up and have a family, im gonna say i love you 100 times a day to each of my family members, and give 100 hugs to each of them everyday. Im gonna make sure speaking life to one another and loving one another becomes a culture in my family, for as pastor how said, i may not have the power to change the generations before me, but i can definitely change my generation and every generation thereafter!
My dad told me my mom wept a tear when she told him how much she wanted us to do something for her. And when i heard it, i was so disappointed with myself. But luckily ALL the men in my family rose up! We immediately decided to buy her a cake, buy her flowers, buy her a gift and to make her a card. And we accomplished everything before she came home! And im so happy to be able to apply cardmakingskillz which i picked up through the many cards i've seen in hogc to make my mom a pretty card! And the best thing was, my mom was SO gracious to say, "better late than never!" One half of me says "im glad that she is happy again", but the other half says "you know you did it largely because you felt guilty, not because you really wanted to surprise and show your love to her." Dear God, i really need to learn to love other people, please teach me how to love others, and make me love them like how i love you.
Lastly, i wrote a verse for her at the back of the card! I hope that one day god will touch her heart at church, for nothing can separate us from the love of god!
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
When i grow up and have a family, im gonna say i love you 100 times a day to each of my family members, and give 100 hugs to each of them everyday. Im gonna make sure speaking life to one another and loving one another becomes a culture in my family, for as pastor how said, i may not have the power to change the generations before me, but i can definitely change my generation and every generation thereafter!
My dad told me my mom wept a tear when she told him how much she wanted us to do something for her. And when i heard it, i was so disappointed with myself. But luckily ALL the men in my family rose up! We immediately decided to buy her a cake, buy her flowers, buy her a gift and to make her a card. And we accomplished everything before she came home! And im so happy to be able to apply cardmakingskillz which i picked up through the many cards i've seen in hogc to make my mom a pretty card! And the best thing was, my mom was SO gracious to say, "better late than never!" One half of me says "im glad that she is happy again", but the other half says "you know you did it largely because you felt guilty, not because you really wanted to surprise and show your love to her." Dear God, i really need to learn to love other people, please teach me how to love others, and make me love them like how i love you.
Lastly, i wrote a verse for her at the back of the card! I hope that one day god will touch her heart at church, for nothing can separate us from the love of god!
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Revelation!! Leaders!
YES!! God is so amazing!! after a whole discussion with pj, i have a revelation!!!
I finally know why i went to church only in easter this year, and why i didnt join bai and desmond. It was to be able to meet john, my spiritual leader! ok let me explain. pj did followup with bai and dessy, but john did followup for me. For months and months, i have been asking myself, and people have been continually asking me, why was it john and not pj who did followup for me. After all, im in her team, and since she did followup for bai and and dessy, its natural that she would do it for me too!
But guess what, God has a plan for ALL of us! I came only in easter, so i could have john as my followup leader!! This way, i could have 2 leaders, john to bring me closer to god, and pj to bring me closer to fellowship! Im so happy and privilege to be john's first followup sheep, because he is just so amazing! and im so thankful to be in pj's team, for she has brought me closer to fellowship!! If i had a choice to choose all over again, i can safely and assurely say, i would want to come to church not earlier, not later but exactly on easter 2010! So i can have 2 wonderful leaders, pj and john! And to think i have been asking bai, why didnt you bring me to church earlier!! I now know the reason, God has a plan for me! He knows that these are the 2 IDEAL and BEST leaders for me, and i love him! And its so true! I just emailed john, and what he replied triggered these thoughts, and pj was the one who enhanced and extended these thoughts! John my spiritual leader, pj my fellowship leader!
Im just so thankful for everything he has done. I have not a SINGLE moment of genuine sadness in my life for the past 19 years! I really wonder how far i will fall when a setback actually comes. But nvm, I can forever take joy to know that the lord my god is there for me, to carry me, protect me and bless me through everything i do! And im living the best years of my life in hogc! Im so excited for whats gonna come in the future. God is going to prosper everyone else even more!!
Romans 8:30 (New King James Version)
30 Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified.
And i think i know why i have a hereditary blood problem at birth which made me c9l3! Its so that i can have time to serve him during my ns days! And the amazing thing is that, God plans it all so perfectly, for me to end up in hogc on easter 2010 so that i can meet pj and john,+ have lots of free time to serve! I can never thank him enough for all he has done! I love him with all my heart and soul!
I finally know why i went to church only in easter this year, and why i didnt join bai and desmond. It was to be able to meet john, my spiritual leader! ok let me explain. pj did followup with bai and dessy, but john did followup for me. For months and months, i have been asking myself, and people have been continually asking me, why was it john and not pj who did followup for me. After all, im in her team, and since she did followup for bai and and dessy, its natural that she would do it for me too!
But guess what, God has a plan for ALL of us! I came only in easter, so i could have john as my followup leader!! This way, i could have 2 leaders, john to bring me closer to god, and pj to bring me closer to fellowship! Im so happy and privilege to be john's first followup sheep, because he is just so amazing! and im so thankful to be in pj's team, for she has brought me closer to fellowship!! If i had a choice to choose all over again, i can safely and assurely say, i would want to come to church not earlier, not later but exactly on easter 2010! So i can have 2 wonderful leaders, pj and john! And to think i have been asking bai, why didnt you bring me to church earlier!! I now know the reason, God has a plan for me! He knows that these are the 2 IDEAL and BEST leaders for me, and i love him! And its so true! I just emailed john, and what he replied triggered these thoughts, and pj was the one who enhanced and extended these thoughts! John my spiritual leader, pj my fellowship leader!
Im just so thankful for everything he has done. I have not a SINGLE moment of genuine sadness in my life for the past 19 years! I really wonder how far i will fall when a setback actually comes. But nvm, I can forever take joy to know that the lord my god is there for me, to carry me, protect me and bless me through everything i do! And im living the best years of my life in hogc! Im so excited for whats gonna come in the future. God is going to prosper everyone else even more!!
Romans 8:30 (New King James Version)
30 Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified.
And i think i know why i have a hereditary blood problem at birth which made me c9l3! Its so that i can have time to serve him during my ns days! And the amazing thing is that, God plans it all so perfectly, for me to end up in hogc on easter 2010 so that i can meet pj and john,+ have lots of free time to serve! I can never thank him enough for all he has done! I love him with all my heart and soul!
Building Fund 2010
And as usual, weekend service was amazing! minus a surprise recall to base i got during service from my boss which turned out to be a joke.
Expect the best, prepare for the worst. i just love how this statement can so accurately describe our attitude to adopt in everything we do. Expect the best with faith through god's grace, prepare for the worst as a contingency plan. And im finally beginning to like our pastors more and more!
After doing some very serious math, I found out that i really need to start praying to fulfil my bf pledge, because after counting front and back, once twice thrice, somehow, it seems incredibly difficult to meet my pledge. I think i need to seriously lower my spending to income ratio, and live on a budget amount every week. But no worries, tml a new lifestyle awaits me, i shall skip buying breakfast in base, and limit myself to only 1 packet of 80cents icelemontea a day! God will make me love packed food rations that smell terrible and is impossible to swallow. Luckily my mom volunteered to fully subsidise my transport fares. Thats one huge burden off my spending. I just hope payrise will come soon next mnth. But i know that every seed i sow on the ground, god will replace them, and give me even more seeds to sow, for i have been a faithful farmer to his kingdom. And for all the blessings i have received since birth, i know i can never thank him enough.
Pastor was so right to say that it is our privilege to be part of the team that gave to building fund to build our home. Every bit counts, and when our home is finally built, we can proudly say that we had a hand in building this home! 10 years down the road, even if we gave 100k, 200k, it would have lost all its meaning. Im so excited about the plans pastor has for the church! It is a good plan, and im sure it will succeed. hogc will come down to the world like never before.
Anyway i went for birthday lunch with my mom! She is just so awesome. She spontaneously invited all our relatives to eat with her at some revolving restaurant, and even fully paid for lunch! She has a big heart for all those she love. And i just found out today that my elder bro went to hogc before, like 1-2 years back! i was like, NO WAY! i was so shocked and excited after he told me that! And you know what!!!!! Today the guy that appeared on the screen during marilyns testimony, daniel tay, hes the one that invited my brother to church!!! what a coincidence! the very day i found out my bro went to hogc, i saw the same guy appearing on the screen who brought him to church!! one day i will invite him to church again, so that he can again experience the love of god like how i did!
And i made friends with colin today after meeting him twice at 13th floor boys toilet. I just said hi colin, and he asked me for my name, and i told him we met before previously in this very toilet! He was like. errrrrrrrrrrrr. haha so fun. i shall go to 13th floor boys toilet more often! To add on to pastor lia, amazing things happen not only in 13th floor girls bathroom, but in 13th floor boys bathroom as well!!
And once again i thank you lord for such a wonderful week i had, and thank you for blessing every single day throughout these 19 years of my life. I am able to walk this earth with faith and victory, because i know i got you!
Expect the best, prepare for the worst. i just love how this statement can so accurately describe our attitude to adopt in everything we do. Expect the best with faith through god's grace, prepare for the worst as a contingency plan. And im finally beginning to like our pastors more and more!
After doing some very serious math, I found out that i really need to start praying to fulfil my bf pledge, because after counting front and back, once twice thrice, somehow, it seems incredibly difficult to meet my pledge. I think i need to seriously lower my spending to income ratio, and live on a budget amount every week. But no worries, tml a new lifestyle awaits me, i shall skip buying breakfast in base, and limit myself to only 1 packet of 80cents icelemontea a day! God will make me love packed food rations that smell terrible and is impossible to swallow. Luckily my mom volunteered to fully subsidise my transport fares. Thats one huge burden off my spending. I just hope payrise will come soon next mnth. But i know that every seed i sow on the ground, god will replace them, and give me even more seeds to sow, for i have been a faithful farmer to his kingdom. And for all the blessings i have received since birth, i know i can never thank him enough.
Pastor was so right to say that it is our privilege to be part of the team that gave to building fund to build our home. Every bit counts, and when our home is finally built, we can proudly say that we had a hand in building this home! 10 years down the road, even if we gave 100k, 200k, it would have lost all its meaning. Im so excited about the plans pastor has for the church! It is a good plan, and im sure it will succeed. hogc will come down to the world like never before.
Anyway i went for birthday lunch with my mom! She is just so awesome. She spontaneously invited all our relatives to eat with her at some revolving restaurant, and even fully paid for lunch! She has a big heart for all those she love. And i just found out today that my elder bro went to hogc before, like 1-2 years back! i was like, NO WAY! i was so shocked and excited after he told me that! And you know what!!!!! Today the guy that appeared on the screen during marilyns testimony, daniel tay, hes the one that invited my brother to church!!! what a coincidence! the very day i found out my bro went to hogc, i saw the same guy appearing on the screen who brought him to church!! one day i will invite him to church again, so that he can again experience the love of god like how i did!
And i made friends with colin today after meeting him twice at 13th floor boys toilet. I just said hi colin, and he asked me for my name, and i told him we met before previously in this very toilet! He was like. errrrrrrrrrrrr. haha so fun. i shall go to 13th floor boys toilet more often! To add on to pastor lia, amazing things happen not only in 13th floor girls bathroom, but in 13th floor boys bathroom as well!!
And once again i thank you lord for such a wonderful week i had, and thank you for blessing every single day throughout these 19 years of my life. I am able to walk this earth with faith and victory, because i know i got you!
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Rising up.
im like so shagggggggg now. my eyes are closing and i cant even think straight. i think i used up all my energy during leaders meeting today trying to understand everything. to think just 2hrs+ of thinking can drain ALL my energy now.. I cant believe im so vveak. no wonder i see absolutely no life in every meridian on the train in the mornings.
Had a great day at work today. Although i screwed up pol check, but it kz. at least the mess was salvageable. But it got me worried for a while. Other than that, the entire day at work was quite chillax.
Now leaders meeting!
Its quite amazing how hogc can be so dynamic and grow in such an unorthordox way, surviving as a youth church with an adult zone. I had a few immediate questions during sermon today.
Q1: Why must we get a land of our own, when we know that there is limited space available, and every plot of land we try to get would mean denying another church from getting their home? Why not just sacrifice and give them the land, since it would also mean expanding God's kingdom?
A: Bidding for a land is God's way of telling us which church is annointed and chosen to deserve that certain piece of land. The question was never about which church getting the land, nor whether would there be enough land for all churches to be built. But rather, its a channel for God to tell us who he has chosen to take the baton for the relay race. In such a climate like this, churches are restricted to grow by regulations, but this in fact helps to sharpen God's annointing, for only the spiritually strong will be faithful, and they will hence get an opportunity to establish their home. And whichever church that receives this special annointing of God (ie manage to proliferate even in this climate) will also mean they carry the responsibility to make a difference to christianity.
Q2: Why would Hogc be the special church that holds the annointing of god, and will be the church that will make a difference to the world?
A: A special church does not bring annointing to the people, but the annointing of people makes the church special. Its never about a church standing up amongst the rest, but its about how faithful and strong the people are. There is no who gets annointed or who does not, but how many people get annointed. God gave us a choice whether to receive the annointing, and in hogc, pastors groom people to receive the annointing. And that is why this annointing and love for christ is so strong in hogc, that we have faith that every other christian will choose this path of receiving annointing.
Its not about rising up to change the world literally, but about us being a prototype and role model, and hence allow other churches to learn from us and hence change the world. From hogc's rate of growth and taking into account the birthing of a new generation, pastors know that they are definitely on the right track of adaptation in evangelism and loving others, as they see youths loving god more and more each day. Christians have a onus to fulfil their destiny given to them by God, but for hogc, their destiny includes bringing about an entire revolution that will change the way churches will operate. It will change the concept of evangelism, worship and leadership. For it is our priviledge and honor to be part of hogc as the pioneers of a revolution that is about to begin. Churches all around the world will take a leaf out of our book, and use us as a model to build a dynamic church to meet the new generations. And they will establish themselves as a dynamo for the future generations. Christianity is about to be revolutionised, and people all around the world can then love god even more. The high call of God is for all to hear, but for few to respond, accept and follow.
And i thought i was thinking for god all along. Luckily i have great leaders who are there to correct me!
Lastly, i wanna talk about what pj said. Mobility. How much are you willing to give and let go so that you can be mobile to serve and be there when you need to?
Mobilisation to church activities, for instance, is a mere micro scale of the gravity of needing to be mobile. We need to be able to respond to the call of the church especially when we have a few days of advanced notice already. For if we cannot even respond to a mobilisation to a church meeting, what more to the immediate high call of god? We need to be there and ready to let go of everything to follow god when the time comes.
And also pj's importance and role as a leader. Without her holding the team together, im not sure at all if we can be as commited and convicted to be there to respond to church calls. We need to reduce the load on our leaders by responding, and in turn, grow another leader in our midst. For if we have a team of people who are as responsible as any leader, we will grow to another level of commitment and love.
Thanks everyone, joey, zhilin, eloise, peijun, jasmine and desmond for explaining/trying to explain to me. Esp joey zhilin and eloise for being so patient. I know im rather stubborn to accept what you say at times. Thats cause i cannot understand and cannot fit the pieces together. But once i see the logic behind what you say, then it all comes to light, and i will correct my thinking.
Wow almost 4am. i've been at it for 1hr+ and im so shag. Argh i dont think i can wake up in time to send varian and bai off. Nvm. The lord my god will give me strength to crawl out of my bed and make it to airport at 8am! For i find rest not in sleeping, but in loving.
Goodnight world. Goodmorning destiny!
Had a great day at work today. Although i screwed up pol check, but it kz. at least the mess was salvageable. But it got me worried for a while. Other than that, the entire day at work was quite chillax.
Now leaders meeting!
Its quite amazing how hogc can be so dynamic and grow in such an unorthordox way, surviving as a youth church with an adult zone. I had a few immediate questions during sermon today.
Q1: Why must we get a land of our own, when we know that there is limited space available, and every plot of land we try to get would mean denying another church from getting their home? Why not just sacrifice and give them the land, since it would also mean expanding God's kingdom?
A: Bidding for a land is God's way of telling us which church is annointed and chosen to deserve that certain piece of land. The question was never about which church getting the land, nor whether would there be enough land for all churches to be built. But rather, its a channel for God to tell us who he has chosen to take the baton for the relay race. In such a climate like this, churches are restricted to grow by regulations, but this in fact helps to sharpen God's annointing, for only the spiritually strong will be faithful, and they will hence get an opportunity to establish their home. And whichever church that receives this special annointing of God (ie manage to proliferate even in this climate) will also mean they carry the responsibility to make a difference to christianity.
Q2: Why would Hogc be the special church that holds the annointing of god, and will be the church that will make a difference to the world?
A: A special church does not bring annointing to the people, but the annointing of people makes the church special. Its never about a church standing up amongst the rest, but its about how faithful and strong the people are. There is no who gets annointed or who does not, but how many people get annointed. God gave us a choice whether to receive the annointing, and in hogc, pastors groom people to receive the annointing. And that is why this annointing and love for christ is so strong in hogc, that we have faith that every other christian will choose this path of receiving annointing.
Its not about rising up to change the world literally, but about us being a prototype and role model, and hence allow other churches to learn from us and hence change the world. From hogc's rate of growth and taking into account the birthing of a new generation, pastors know that they are definitely on the right track of adaptation in evangelism and loving others, as they see youths loving god more and more each day. Christians have a onus to fulfil their destiny given to them by God, but for hogc, their destiny includes bringing about an entire revolution that will change the way churches will operate. It will change the concept of evangelism, worship and leadership. For it is our priviledge and honor to be part of hogc as the pioneers of a revolution that is about to begin. Churches all around the world will take a leaf out of our book, and use us as a model to build a dynamic church to meet the new generations. And they will establish themselves as a dynamo for the future generations. Christianity is about to be revolutionised, and people all around the world can then love god even more. The high call of God is for all to hear, but for few to respond, accept and follow.
And i thought i was thinking for god all along. Luckily i have great leaders who are there to correct me!
Lastly, i wanna talk about what pj said. Mobility. How much are you willing to give and let go so that you can be mobile to serve and be there when you need to?
Mobilisation to church activities, for instance, is a mere micro scale of the gravity of needing to be mobile. We need to be able to respond to the call of the church especially when we have a few days of advanced notice already. For if we cannot even respond to a mobilisation to a church meeting, what more to the immediate high call of god? We need to be there and ready to let go of everything to follow god when the time comes.
And also pj's importance and role as a leader. Without her holding the team together, im not sure at all if we can be as commited and convicted to be there to respond to church calls. We need to reduce the load on our leaders by responding, and in turn, grow another leader in our midst. For if we have a team of people who are as responsible as any leader, we will grow to another level of commitment and love.
Thanks everyone, joey, zhilin, eloise, peijun, jasmine and desmond for explaining/trying to explain to me. Esp joey zhilin and eloise for being so patient. I know im rather stubborn to accept what you say at times. Thats cause i cannot understand and cannot fit the pieces together. But once i see the logic behind what you say, then it all comes to light, and i will correct my thinking.
Wow almost 4am. i've been at it for 1hr+ and im so shag. Argh i dont think i can wake up in time to send varian and bai off. Nvm. The lord my god will give me strength to crawl out of my bed and make it to airport at 8am! For i find rest not in sleeping, but in loving.
Goodnight world. Goodmorning destiny!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
1st Prayer Meeting
had my first prayer meeting with dl4 guys, ie joey, selwyn, jiahock, maurice and ryan. I could really feel the presence of God coming down on us, and once again, the feeling of acension overwhelmed me.
Its great to know that they have a clear objective and purpose in their near future. And its also great to know that they are all slowly becoming more christlike. I pray that each and everyone will draw strength through god, and fulfil their purpose here on earth!
Had Qboard interview today. And once again, i thank god for being my guiding star, for giving me strength confidence to overcome this trial. I know, with christ living in me, i have authority and victory over all things on earth. Nothing can separate us from the love of god, i am fearless!
Somehow, there is a sparkle in the smile of every christian; they practically glow with radiance! There is just so much life in them. This is the power of our God.
Its great to know that they have a clear objective and purpose in their near future. And its also great to know that they are all slowly becoming more christlike. I pray that each and everyone will draw strength through god, and fulfil their purpose here on earth!
Had Qboard interview today. And once again, i thank god for being my guiding star, for giving me strength confidence to overcome this trial. I know, with christ living in me, i have authority and victory over all things on earth. Nothing can separate us from the love of god, i am fearless!
Somehow, there is a sparkle in the smile of every christian; they practically glow with radiance! There is just so much life in them. This is the power of our God.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
The Beginning.
Eternal life in heaven, abundant life on earth. im beginning to love this phrase more and more!
Today was a great bad day. Panicked abit for parade cos i thought i was running late, but in the end i was actually like 20min+ earlier than reporting time. Yay me, i escaped getting extras cos i was early for parade! Or so i thought. Im quite lazy to say out the entire cabinet issue because i feel its quite absurd. But the thing was, after being threatened with 3 extras, not only was i lazy to fight back for myself, i was rather indifferent and unbothered about getting the extra punishment. Because i know, I walk the earth with authority and victory from christ, what can mere humans do to me?
The one and only thing that made me really sad was that it meant missing 3 services in church. I was really quite sad about it, because i know that the worst thing that could ever happen to me was me being separated from god, for a single weekend, a single hour, even a single second. I pray that he will satisfy my yearning for him, and come down into my life like never before.
Talked to bryan and yongyi a little about christianity and god, and as usual, all the scientific big bang theory and darwins evolution came into the picture; the exact same skeptism and thoughts i had about christianity right at the start. But i believe that one day, man will come to know that their purpose here on earth is more than just living, but about loving.
Ephesians 3:20
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than we ask for or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Jesus Christ throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
A big thank you to all those who wrote the well wishes to zhanyu! Valcheong, Fungqi, Joey(although i had to like vomit blood before i managed to get him to write a message =p), Eugene, Jasmine, Grace, Peijun, Zhenghui, Desmond, Bai, Novel, Zhilin. Zhanyu was v v touched! Thank you all of you for allowing zhanyu to leave this place with a wonderful experience of God's love. Im certain he will gain strength from all your messages to go through these 3 weeks, not forgetting Jesus who will also be his guiding light! Salvation awaits him.
An even bigger mention to bai, zhenghui and peijun for being present there to send zhanyu off! And especially peijun, for she was the one who pulled me away from the devil's grip, the one who brought life to me, the one who harshly reminded me, "Is he your friend??? loving a friend is shown through our actions and efforts too. action speaks louder than words. Jesus won't say He's too lazy to die on the cross for you". And to quote Aaron, "Daniel, daniel, is this what Jesus would have done??" Im just so thankful i have great friends whom i can depend on to defend your fortress and kingdom in these dark hours. Dear lord, we shall fight on with hearts aflamed, forever in the race to your throne!
What a great night, its the first ever time i actually put in some effort to make a card for a friend! And the feeling was definitely overwhelming. And once again, i give even greater praises to God, for never allowing me to separate from his love, and for giving me abundant life on earth. I love you god, and i worship you with all my heart. I will continue to build your kingdom, and the life i live, i live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
And omg, the power of prayer! At 2313, i decided to walk zhanyu to his gathering place, and at 2323, i was like, omg doom liaos. confirm cannot make it for last train liaos. weekday somemore and must take skytrain to T2. And so like i always do when i need help, i prayed to God for a miracle to happen that somehow, the last train leaving airport would be like at 2330+. And by golly, somehow i managed to board the very last train leaving airport! Such miracles when i decide to sacrifice for a friend! I just love the victory i receive from god!
Mark 1:11
And a voice from heaven said, "You are my dearly loved Son, and you bring me great joy."
Today was a great bad day. Panicked abit for parade cos i thought i was running late, but in the end i was actually like 20min+ earlier than reporting time. Yay me, i escaped getting extras cos i was early for parade! Or so i thought. Im quite lazy to say out the entire cabinet issue because i feel its quite absurd. But the thing was, after being threatened with 3 extras, not only was i lazy to fight back for myself, i was rather indifferent and unbothered about getting the extra punishment. Because i know, I walk the earth with authority and victory from christ, what can mere humans do to me?
The one and only thing that made me really sad was that it meant missing 3 services in church. I was really quite sad about it, because i know that the worst thing that could ever happen to me was me being separated from god, for a single weekend, a single hour, even a single second. I pray that he will satisfy my yearning for him, and come down into my life like never before.
Talked to bryan and yongyi a little about christianity and god, and as usual, all the scientific big bang theory and darwins evolution came into the picture; the exact same skeptism and thoughts i had about christianity right at the start. But i believe that one day, man will come to know that their purpose here on earth is more than just living, but about loving.
Ephesians 3:20
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than we ask for or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Jesus Christ throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
A big thank you to all those who wrote the well wishes to zhanyu! Valcheong, Fungqi, Joey(although i had to like vomit blood before i managed to get him to write a message =p), Eugene, Jasmine, Grace, Peijun, Zhenghui, Desmond, Bai, Novel, Zhilin. Zhanyu was v v touched! Thank you all of you for allowing zhanyu to leave this place with a wonderful experience of God's love. Im certain he will gain strength from all your messages to go through these 3 weeks, not forgetting Jesus who will also be his guiding light! Salvation awaits him.
An even bigger mention to bai, zhenghui and peijun for being present there to send zhanyu off! And especially peijun, for she was the one who pulled me away from the devil's grip, the one who brought life to me, the one who harshly reminded me, "Is he your friend??? loving a friend is shown through our actions and efforts too. action speaks louder than words. Jesus won't say He's too lazy to die on the cross for you". And to quote Aaron, "Daniel, daniel, is this what Jesus would have done??" Im just so thankful i have great friends whom i can depend on to defend your fortress and kingdom in these dark hours. Dear lord, we shall fight on with hearts aflamed, forever in the race to your throne!
What a great night, its the first ever time i actually put in some effort to make a card for a friend! And the feeling was definitely overwhelming. And once again, i give even greater praises to God, for never allowing me to separate from his love, and for giving me abundant life on earth. I love you god, and i worship you with all my heart. I will continue to build your kingdom, and the life i live, i live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
And omg, the power of prayer! At 2313, i decided to walk zhanyu to his gathering place, and at 2323, i was like, omg doom liaos. confirm cannot make it for last train liaos. weekday somemore and must take skytrain to T2. And so like i always do when i need help, i prayed to God for a miracle to happen that somehow, the last train leaving airport would be like at 2330+. And by golly, somehow i managed to board the very last train leaving airport! Such miracles when i decide to sacrifice for a friend! I just love the victory i receive from god!
Mark 1:11
And a voice from heaven said, "You are my dearly loved Son, and you bring me great joy."
Monday, October 11, 2010
Tithings.
Woke up at 9, 10, 11, 12 and finally at 1, i decided to climb out of my bed because i think i shouldnt sleep anymore. I finally ate lunch on a sunday morning with my family after missing sunday lunch with them for the past weeks. But after i told them i wasnt eating dinner at home, somehow i could feel yet another sense of disappointment in them. I really want to honor them more, but i also wanna spend my weekends outside of home. I shall try to be nicer to them from now on, and for starters, i shall buy my mom a present for her birthday next sunday!
Service was great. God's house is always filled with peace, joy, laughter, smiles. Brought chew to church today, and i could see him blending into the people. I believe that v soon, he will realise how much god loves us, and nothing can separate us from god. I pray that God will guide him in the 3 weeks to come, and put a yearning for God in his heart, and that will be his ignition spark to light the fire in his heart and run the race for god.
Today, i learnt that sinning is actually not only doing bad things. Sinning is actually breaking god's heart, not following god's words. Once we stop following God's instructions, we sin. Varian told me that he thinks that being righteous does not necessarily bring prosperity, because if a person is righteous and lazy, hes not gonna prosper at all. but someone who works hard will definitely be prosperous. But i think that we prosper only when we do not sin ie follow god's words, and once we do not sin, we will somehow be righteous and godlike, and this is what prospers us. Being lazy is in fact not a teaching of god, and hence it translates to sinning. Thus when we are lazy, we sin, and that is why we dont prosper. So actually i just answered varians question! And to think i never believed that we can learn through teaching!
2 Thessalonians 3:10
For even if we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat.
Proverbs 13:4
The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied.
Pay day is here! I shall give my first ever tithing to God. I want god to know that i am obedient to him and i love him. I want him to know that he can trust me, and i want him to choose me in my golden years to give back to the kingdom of god, for everything i have, it belongs not to me, but to the lord our god. All i ask for is for him to come into my life, and give me wisdom through christ, so i can live a better person, a better life.
Went out with chew zhilin and peijun at night to eat daohuay. That is what i call doing nothing and pure chilling. We should do this more often. Because its the most energy-conserving activity which is actually fun! I think thats probably why i joined co right at the start. Just sit on the chair and nua the whole practice. Best thing ever.
Now I need someone to answer me this question. How far do you agree that the bible was not tampered during the roman empire?
Service was great. God's house is always filled with peace, joy, laughter, smiles. Brought chew to church today, and i could see him blending into the people. I believe that v soon, he will realise how much god loves us, and nothing can separate us from god. I pray that God will guide him in the 3 weeks to come, and put a yearning for God in his heart, and that will be his ignition spark to light the fire in his heart and run the race for god.
Today, i learnt that sinning is actually not only doing bad things. Sinning is actually breaking god's heart, not following god's words. Once we stop following God's instructions, we sin. Varian told me that he thinks that being righteous does not necessarily bring prosperity, because if a person is righteous and lazy, hes not gonna prosper at all. but someone who works hard will definitely be prosperous. But i think that we prosper only when we do not sin ie follow god's words, and once we do not sin, we will somehow be righteous and godlike, and this is what prospers us. Being lazy is in fact not a teaching of god, and hence it translates to sinning. Thus when we are lazy, we sin, and that is why we dont prosper. So actually i just answered varians question! And to think i never believed that we can learn through teaching!
2 Thessalonians 3:10
For even if we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat.
Proverbs 13:4
The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied.
Pay day is here! I shall give my first ever tithing to God. I want god to know that i am obedient to him and i love him. I want him to know that he can trust me, and i want him to choose me in my golden years to give back to the kingdom of god, for everything i have, it belongs not to me, but to the lord our god. All i ask for is for him to come into my life, and give me wisdom through christ, so i can live a better person, a better life.
Went out with chew zhilin and peijun at night to eat daohuay. That is what i call doing nothing and pure chilling. We should do this more often. Because its the most energy-conserving activity which is actually fun! I think thats probably why i joined co right at the start. Just sit on the chair and nua the whole practice. Best thing ever.
Now I need someone to answer me this question. How far do you agree that the bible was not tampered during the roman empire?
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Disorganised thoughts.
Dear lord, what is a thousand dollars compared to a life saved and brought past the gates of heavens? Money is but earthly wealth, but bringing eternal life to another, that is true kingdom building. It is giving what you value most to christ, and certainly for me, its giving my best years of my life and giving my best friends to christ!
Dear lord, for the first time, i am actually assured and confident that it is you who spoke to me today. I can finally listen to your word now! Its not a voice i hear, but instead, a chain of thoughts planted in my mind. You speak to me through the presence of the holy spirit, you indirectly tell me what i should do and what decisions i should make. I can now walk this earth with victory and authority in everything i do, for i know that i have a guiding star, a guiding star which makes me fearless, which frees me from the chains of unbelievers.
Dear lord, somehow, i think you entered my life right in the beginning of my life. Saving, a lesson taught to me years back by you. I love my foundation given to me by god. I now know when exactly did god first stepped into my life, and that was the very day i was birthed from my earthly parents. Oh how much i honor them when i miss them. But why daniel, do you still not practice what you preach? Its just so tragic that the devil can so easily take over you through your stronghold of bitterness. Daniel Daniel, when will you ever learn to say no, say no to the devils?!
God knows who his children are, for nobody but the lord our god will judge his own people.
The hands of fellowship, do they reach only to those already saved? Or does it reach to those who are yet to be saved? Attachments to a church, what is the purpose of it? This church must survive, because this church is where i first met god, it holds sentimental value, and perhaps the most appealing place to bring salvation to others. This church must survive because this is a fortress of god to fight the devil. We cannot lose this stronghold; for every little channel we have to reach to man, we cannot forsake and forgo. It's not about hogc, its about saving god's kingdom.
You of little faith! God provides, God prospers. Our lord, our god shall stand tall and proud. His glory will shine across all the earth, and his kingdom can only grow bigger and ever stronger!
And lord, once again, my promise to you!
Dear lord, for the first time, i am actually assured and confident that it is you who spoke to me today. I can finally listen to your word now! Its not a voice i hear, but instead, a chain of thoughts planted in my mind. You speak to me through the presence of the holy spirit, you indirectly tell me what i should do and what decisions i should make. I can now walk this earth with victory and authority in everything i do, for i know that i have a guiding star, a guiding star which makes me fearless, which frees me from the chains of unbelievers.
Dear lord, somehow, i think you entered my life right in the beginning of my life. Saving, a lesson taught to me years back by you. I love my foundation given to me by god. I now know when exactly did god first stepped into my life, and that was the very day i was birthed from my earthly parents. Oh how much i honor them when i miss them. But why daniel, do you still not practice what you preach? Its just so tragic that the devil can so easily take over you through your stronghold of bitterness. Daniel Daniel, when will you ever learn to say no, say no to the devils?!
God knows who his children are, for nobody but the lord our god will judge his own people.
The hands of fellowship, do they reach only to those already saved? Or does it reach to those who are yet to be saved? Attachments to a church, what is the purpose of it? This church must survive, because this church is where i first met god, it holds sentimental value, and perhaps the most appealing place to bring salvation to others. This church must survive because this is a fortress of god to fight the devil. We cannot lose this stronghold; for every little channel we have to reach to man, we cannot forsake and forgo. It's not about hogc, its about saving god's kingdom.
You of little faith! God provides, God prospers. Our lord, our god shall stand tall and proud. His glory will shine across all the earth, and his kingdom can only grow bigger and ever stronger!
And lord, once again, my promise to you!
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Terrible day.
Sigh.. sometimes i just ask myself, why did bai and dessy pull me into church. They have just brought me to a never ending path of addiction for christ. And im constantly reminded to be christlike, to build the kingdom of god. My lifestyle has totally been changed. Everything i do, i do it with faith in God, and i can feel the glory of my prime slowly coming into my life. I have turned down so many outings with people outside church, and i try to be present for every church event. I blame all these on our real and living god. I just can't help, but give all i have to build his kingdom, because i know what i will have at the end of the day is not earthly wealth, but boundless treasures in heaven. I have faith, that each and everything i give to build his kingdom, our father in heaven sees it all, and with a little prayer from us, we will gain godly strength to race with an untamed flame to his throne in heaven.
How much more joy i would have if i was never introduced to god. I would spend my sat's and sun's going out comfortably with everyone else i know, spending quality time with my parents, watching all my favourite movies and dramas, playing my favourite games and sports. But this is the problem with our god. Nothing can separate us from his love. He is just so real and alive. And he makes me so sick, sick and tired of building his kingdom. Yet i know, this is in fact living life itself.
How much more joy i would have if i was never introduced to god. I would spend my sat's and sun's going out comfortably with everyone else i know, spending quality time with my parents, watching all my favourite movies and dramas, playing my favourite games and sports. But this is the problem with our god. Nothing can separate us from his love. He is just so real and alive. And he makes me so sick, sick and tired of building his kingdom. Yet i know, this is in fact living life itself.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Evangelism.
Dear lord! i have taken a leap of faith, and invited perhaps the most uninvitable people i know to church. i pray that you give me strength, and i pray that u soften their hearts and let them experience your love. i believe that underneath this cold and hard exterior lies a soft and yielding heart. please, touch them with your love, grow the idea of church into reality, and let it be one of the best decisions they have ever made.
Pj:
(Ester 4:14 NIV) "For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?"
When we receive today what we are hoping for tomorow, we live with the assurance that we already have those things we dream of. This makes us walk and talk and plan and prepare a certain way. We live with a certainty of things others cannot see. We laught at how impossible it looks, because we know within that we already have the reality.
Pj:
(Ester 4:14 NIV) "For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?"
When we receive today what we are hoping for tomorow, we live with the assurance that we already have those things we dream of. This makes us walk and talk and plan and prepare a certain way. We live with a certainty of things others cannot see. We laught at how impossible it looks, because we know within that we already have the reality.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
IM ON FIRE!!
JESUS!!! I CANT WAIT TO BE WITH YOU IN HEAVEN!! I LOVE YOU!
dear god, even i can see the change in myself. im growing to love you more and more! im just madly in love with you. you are everything to me. you have the perfect qualities i would yearn anyone to have, perfect love, understanding, replies, attention, guidance, glory! how can anyone be so PERFECT!! I am made complete with christ in me. your presence is like ecstasy to me, and im getting increasingly addicted to you day by day. dear lord! thank you for choosing me in my golden years! it is my highest privilege and honor to serve and love you. i will make a difference to your kingdom. i can feel the happiness and peace, i can feel you waiting for me in heaven, to welcome me. i am fearless, for i walk this earth in your name. nothing can defeat me!
Shine your light and, let the whole earth see!
We're singing, for the glory, of our risen king, Jesus!
dear god, even i can see the change in myself. im growing to love you more and more! im just madly in love with you. you are everything to me. you have the perfect qualities i would yearn anyone to have, perfect love, understanding, replies, attention, guidance, glory! how can anyone be so PERFECT!! I am made complete with christ in me. your presence is like ecstasy to me, and im getting increasingly addicted to you day by day. dear lord! thank you for choosing me in my golden years! it is my highest privilege and honor to serve and love you. i will make a difference to your kingdom. i can feel the happiness and peace, i can feel you waiting for me in heaven, to welcome me. i am fearless, for i walk this earth in your name. nothing can defeat me!
Shine your light and, let the whole earth see!
We're singing, for the glory, of our risen king, Jesus!
Sunday, October 3, 2010
A disturbing day.
Sigh. today has been such a disturbing day. Other than during praise, worship and praying to god dur svc, i didnt feel happy at all. i left my house for svc in the morning, only to meet my parents downstairs who came back from marketing. they asked me if i ate lunch already, and i said no. and they asked me if i was eating dinner later tonight, and i said no to them again. i could see such disappointment on their faces although they didnt say anything to me.
Dear parents, as much as i want to honor you, I really feel that i wanna spend my precious weekends in church. Its not that i dont want to spend time at home, but i really gain much more joy at church. I know how much you have done for me, and i know that i am forever indebted to you. But i think that sometimes, you just gotta let go of your reins on me. I am a servant of a greater god out there, and i cannot serve two masters. Dear lord, i pray that you will let my parents understand that my saturdays and sundays will forever be spent in the house of god. When bmt comes, ill have even less time to spend with them. Please enlighten them that i am going to church to learn about the bible, about christlikeness, about being a better person.
I felt incredibly guilty after svc about making them upset, and i felt completely disturbed throughout the evening. Much to my reluctance, I think it was more of guilt than anything else that made me call back home to tell them i will eat dinner with them at home. I wanted so much to stay in church after svc! But I know that one day, i will look back at my life and tell myself, daniel daniel, you should have spent more time with your parents, and regret not spending enough time with them after they're gone. Dear god, tell me, how much must we honor our parents? does it go only to the extent of not making them upset, or do we have to forsake our own joy for them?
And Dear god, i wanna tithe and give to bf to build and expand your kingdom. God, why is it that you never speak to me yourself, but instead, always send your children to pass me your message? I feel Christ living in me, all i have to do is to call out to him, and i can feel him living in me. But why does he never speak, but only listen and listen to what i say, and then answer ALL my questions through his miraculous ways? I long to hear your word through your voice, not other people's voice. Dear god, i pray that you will choose me in my golden years, bless me with the ability to hear your voice. Dear lord, when you feel i am ready, please use me through christ to change the world!
Dear parents, as much as i want to honor you, I really feel that i wanna spend my precious weekends in church. Its not that i dont want to spend time at home, but i really gain much more joy at church. I know how much you have done for me, and i know that i am forever indebted to you. But i think that sometimes, you just gotta let go of your reins on me. I am a servant of a greater god out there, and i cannot serve two masters. Dear lord, i pray that you will let my parents understand that my saturdays and sundays will forever be spent in the house of god. When bmt comes, ill have even less time to spend with them. Please enlighten them that i am going to church to learn about the bible, about christlikeness, about being a better person.
I felt incredibly guilty after svc about making them upset, and i felt completely disturbed throughout the evening. Much to my reluctance, I think it was more of guilt than anything else that made me call back home to tell them i will eat dinner with them at home. I wanted so much to stay in church after svc! But I know that one day, i will look back at my life and tell myself, daniel daniel, you should have spent more time with your parents, and regret not spending enough time with them after they're gone. Dear god, tell me, how much must we honor our parents? does it go only to the extent of not making them upset, or do we have to forsake our own joy for them?
And Dear god, i wanna tithe and give to bf to build and expand your kingdom. God, why is it that you never speak to me yourself, but instead, always send your children to pass me your message? I feel Christ living in me, all i have to do is to call out to him, and i can feel him living in me. But why does he never speak, but only listen and listen to what i say, and then answer ALL my questions through his miraculous ways? I long to hear your word through your voice, not other people's voice. Dear god, i pray that you will choose me in my golden years, bless me with the ability to hear your voice. Dear lord, when you feel i am ready, please use me through christ to change the world!
Pre-planned Journey
Friday
Had such a rough day at work today. I was so disappointed with myself for having a silent buaysongness in my heart towards a few incidents at work. To make matters worse, I was supposed to go out and eat dinner with my connect group!! I was like waiting for a reply to come to tell me what time they meeting for dinner. but the reply came so so late. then i was starving at home cos sfi lunch was fail ttm. so the entire day i didnt really eat much. I admit, i was rather bitter about the situation. because my mom was like, you sure u dont want eat dinner.. then im like yeah im gonna eat out. so i waited and waited. in the end i was like, forget it. ill just starve.
BUT, God works in wonderful ways! At 9.30pm, i met john and we went to meet dom at mosburger. and so qiao, our followup was on Getting Rid of Strongholds in our Lives! and one of the strongholds was bitterness! I think its totally planned by god that i received the earlier bitterness, so that i could tackle this stronghold in followup! So dom and john taught me that i need to overcome these strongholds in life, because they are created by the devil, and they make us sin. I will overcome everyone of this stronghold through Jesus, for God is faithful and just in forgiving our sins! I just wanna thank God for coming into my life, and changing me so that i can draw closer to him, and feel his love and peace.
Saturday
im beginning to like pastor how more and more. today's talk about tithe was just great. just when i got my first credit card like just 2 days ago, and made my first credit card payment today, here came a sermon that talked about credit card! Somehow, i just feel that my walk with god has been a pre-planned journey, everything that happened in my life, theres always a sermon/followup to explain and to correct me. Isnt it just amazing. I believe god will use me for a much greater purpose, and i will be so happy to answer his calling when the time comes! I will never be a slave to credit and debit, for i have only one true master, and that is jesus christ! ONELOVE,ONEGOD!
im so glad chew enjoyed his time at church today. i can feel the seed in him sprouting, and the time has come for another life to be changed!
I shall take a leap of faith and learn to tithe, because tithing is an indication that we can have self control over our earthly appetites, and it also serves as a reminder that what we should be seeking are the boundless treasures in heaven, and to cling onto earthly possessions. Dear god, please mould me in your ways, let your glory shine in my life.
Had such a rough day at work today. I was so disappointed with myself for having a silent buaysongness in my heart towards a few incidents at work. To make matters worse, I was supposed to go out and eat dinner with my connect group!! I was like waiting for a reply to come to tell me what time they meeting for dinner. but the reply came so so late. then i was starving at home cos sfi lunch was fail ttm. so the entire day i didnt really eat much. I admit, i was rather bitter about the situation. because my mom was like, you sure u dont want eat dinner.. then im like yeah im gonna eat out. so i waited and waited. in the end i was like, forget it. ill just starve.
BUT, God works in wonderful ways! At 9.30pm, i met john and we went to meet dom at mosburger. and so qiao, our followup was on Getting Rid of Strongholds in our Lives! and one of the strongholds was bitterness! I think its totally planned by god that i received the earlier bitterness, so that i could tackle this stronghold in followup! So dom and john taught me that i need to overcome these strongholds in life, because they are created by the devil, and they make us sin. I will overcome everyone of this stronghold through Jesus, for God is faithful and just in forgiving our sins! I just wanna thank God for coming into my life, and changing me so that i can draw closer to him, and feel his love and peace.
Saturday
im beginning to like pastor how more and more. today's talk about tithe was just great. just when i got my first credit card like just 2 days ago, and made my first credit card payment today, here came a sermon that talked about credit card! Somehow, i just feel that my walk with god has been a pre-planned journey, everything that happened in my life, theres always a sermon/followup to explain and to correct me. Isnt it just amazing. I believe god will use me for a much greater purpose, and i will be so happy to answer his calling when the time comes! I will never be a slave to credit and debit, for i have only one true master, and that is jesus christ! ONELOVE,ONEGOD!
im so glad chew enjoyed his time at church today. i can feel the seed in him sprouting, and the time has come for another life to be changed!
I shall take a leap of faith and learn to tithe, because tithing is an indication that we can have self control over our earthly appetites, and it also serves as a reminder that what we should be seeking are the boundless treasures in heaven, and to cling onto earthly possessions. Dear god, please mould me in your ways, let your glory shine in my life.
Friday, October 1, 2010
Sukiyaki DL4 Men
Had a great day today!
Took ftt at ubi and i passed! : D once again, im v v impressed by the lady at the comfortdelgro counter. their customer service is 10/10! on both occasions i went there, they put on a delightful smile on their face, and they were very very patient with the customers. they seem to enjoy talking alot alot, and they knew how to adjust their tone and slang and language when talking to different demographics of people! A skill many people need to learn. if i were the boss of any company, i would definitely poach them over.
went home to watch inter play against werder bremen. somehow i feel that inter's standard dropped so much after benitez took over. they seem to be playing like liv now. but sneijder is performing ever so well! my favourite italian team must win the cup again!
went out with dl4 guys for buffet! supposedly farewell for john and haoyang. had such a great time bonding with everyone else. so good to see everyone letting themselves go loose and enjoying the atmosphere fully. its my first time freezing melted icecream. its quite fun! and its quite cool how they thought of this concept. but the chocolate chips we spam inside makes it so irritating to eat. next time just cook pure ice cream better. put in the mouth dunnid chew liaos. haha. im soo gonna go out with them more next time! oh yeah followup with dom tml. i wonder how it'll go. i just love this life!
hm somehow i cant find haoyang on fb. whats wrong!
Took ftt at ubi and i passed! : D once again, im v v impressed by the lady at the comfortdelgro counter. their customer service is 10/10! on both occasions i went there, they put on a delightful smile on their face, and they were very very patient with the customers. they seem to enjoy talking alot alot, and they knew how to adjust their tone and slang and language when talking to different demographics of people! A skill many people need to learn. if i were the boss of any company, i would definitely poach them over.
went home to watch inter play against werder bremen. somehow i feel that inter's standard dropped so much after benitez took over. they seem to be playing like liv now. but sneijder is performing ever so well! my favourite italian team must win the cup again!
went out with dl4 guys for buffet! supposedly farewell for john and haoyang. had such a great time bonding with everyone else. so good to see everyone letting themselves go loose and enjoying the atmosphere fully. its my first time freezing melted icecream. its quite fun! and its quite cool how they thought of this concept. but the chocolate chips we spam inside makes it so irritating to eat. next time just cook pure ice cream better. put in the mouth dunnid chew liaos. haha. im soo gonna go out with them more next time! oh yeah followup with dom tml. i wonder how it'll go. i just love this life!
hm somehow i cant find haoyang on fb. whats wrong!
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
My amazing leader
my amazing leader is john.
Dear lord, i just wanna tell you how thankful i am to have john as my followup mentor. Every followup, i never fail to see john's undying commitment to teach. Its just so great to have someone who can speak life into me. someone who can describe the word of god so clearly. He has shown unshakened faith. With him, i have learnt your teachings like never before, and everything said just fits into the picture so perfectly. He is so patient with me, and he always wears a smile on his face in whatever he does, even when he sulks! I just love to worship you beside him. I see his love for you. His eyes beam with your glory. I just thank you for giving me him as my followup mentor. Even if you asked me to choose a hundred times over, i can assure you, even if it was for the next million times over, it will definitely and still be john.
I pray, dear lord, that you will honor him as a true man and son of the living god.
omg i got smashed by driving instructor today. he just totally crushed me with all the irritating comments. He just talks SOO much rubbish, all the rubbish about me not complying to HIS method and HIS rules and HIS instructions. i just wanna murder him man. from a confident learner at road, im now smashed and utterly reduced to a failed learner. why cant he be like john! If i had someone as awesome as john to teach me driving, i wouldnt mind going on lessons with him until 30,40 or even 50. Tml is lessons with him again. im gonna go crazy at this rate.
At least i had a great time at work today. it was mega-work day, but mega-chatting day too. hope everyday will be as fun as today. i just love my life.
Dear lord, i just wanna tell you how thankful i am to have john as my followup mentor. Every followup, i never fail to see john's undying commitment to teach. Its just so great to have someone who can speak life into me. someone who can describe the word of god so clearly. He has shown unshakened faith. With him, i have learnt your teachings like never before, and everything said just fits into the picture so perfectly. He is so patient with me, and he always wears a smile on his face in whatever he does, even when he sulks! I just love to worship you beside him. I see his love for you. His eyes beam with your glory. I just thank you for giving me him as my followup mentor. Even if you asked me to choose a hundred times over, i can assure you, even if it was for the next million times over, it will definitely and still be john.
I pray, dear lord, that you will honor him as a true man and son of the living god.
omg i got smashed by driving instructor today. he just totally crushed me with all the irritating comments. He just talks SOO much rubbish, all the rubbish about me not complying to HIS method and HIS rules and HIS instructions. i just wanna murder him man. from a confident learner at road, im now smashed and utterly reduced to a failed learner. why cant he be like john! If i had someone as awesome as john to teach me driving, i wouldnt mind going on lessons with him until 30,40 or even 50. Tml is lessons with him again. im gonna go crazy at this rate.
At least i had a great time at work today. it was mega-work day, but mega-chatting day too. hope everyday will be as fun as today. i just love my life.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
My Earthly Father
Dear lord, i just learnt an amazing truth today! my dad has been a christian for a total of 33 years! and i only found that out today. I never knew he was this much into christianity, and its so awesome to have a father who is such a devoted christian. i now know that he had led a fruitful and wonderful life for the past 30+ years, a life with purpose, a life for jesus! I am so happy and touched and blessed to have him as my earthly father.
My dad told me today that he believes in the existance of a higher being out there. He feels the presence of jesus, and i can see from his eyes, it is christ who lives in him. For the past 30 years, he has never failed to give a tithing of 50 dollars, and he is still doing so now even though he retired like many years ago. And for the past 30 years, he has been praying for 1 thing persistently, that is for god to give him wisdom, wisdom to live a perfect life, wisdom to overcome all challenges, wisdom to understand god's word. That is so amazing. And it all came true! God has blessed him with such a healthy life and family, a life one could only dream of. And the blessings that pour on him, he believes that it has overflowed to us family members. and its so true. i think i have a perfect balance in my family. balance between work and play, arguments and love, time together and time apart. i just love my dad for making such a great decision in his life 33 years ago.
After his ns, he looked for a job to be a sailor in a ship. He was offered an immediate job as a sailor. At first glance, already he knew the dangers of the sea, he knew the power of nature, and the power of god. Hence, he refused to take up the job, because he was not baptised yet. he knew he needed to be baptised by the sea itself, for that would be the protection that god will give him. but the thing is, the baptism period would come only 6 months later. but my dad was persistent. he knew he had to wait, he had faith that he needed god to be in his life, to protect him from the waves, and he just knew he was not ready yet. His obedience was paid off, and god was faithful to him. He received his monthly salary despite not needing to go to work at the seas, and the incredible thing is, the following day immediately after his baptism, he began his sailing destiny, sailing to oceans and seas, to every part of the world!
My dad has such a curious mindset, he would spend his sailing days reading the bible, unraveling the boundless mysteries and knowledge it holds. He even calls himself a fanatic christian! He is a true and faithful christian. In fact, he is even willing to give up and let go all he has in this world to follow god, for he knows that what he has on earth is nothing compared to the treasures he will receive in heaven! I looked into his eyes, it was gleaming with joy. I could see the glory of christ shining from within him, and i am so proud that i have him as my earthly father!
Heaven has a narrow door. It is for all to see, but for few to enter.
Had another amazing time with peijun and zhenghui, after a moviewhichnoneofusspokeaboutaftertheshow with them and zhilin. dont be deceived by how fragile zhenghui looks, she is talkative to the MAXX.
My dad told me today that he believes in the existance of a higher being out there. He feels the presence of jesus, and i can see from his eyes, it is christ who lives in him. For the past 30 years, he has never failed to give a tithing of 50 dollars, and he is still doing so now even though he retired like many years ago. And for the past 30 years, he has been praying for 1 thing persistently, that is for god to give him wisdom, wisdom to live a perfect life, wisdom to overcome all challenges, wisdom to understand god's word. That is so amazing. And it all came true! God has blessed him with such a healthy life and family, a life one could only dream of. And the blessings that pour on him, he believes that it has overflowed to us family members. and its so true. i think i have a perfect balance in my family. balance between work and play, arguments and love, time together and time apart. i just love my dad for making such a great decision in his life 33 years ago.
After his ns, he looked for a job to be a sailor in a ship. He was offered an immediate job as a sailor. At first glance, already he knew the dangers of the sea, he knew the power of nature, and the power of god. Hence, he refused to take up the job, because he was not baptised yet. he knew he needed to be baptised by the sea itself, for that would be the protection that god will give him. but the thing is, the baptism period would come only 6 months later. but my dad was persistent. he knew he had to wait, he had faith that he needed god to be in his life, to protect him from the waves, and he just knew he was not ready yet. His obedience was paid off, and god was faithful to him. He received his monthly salary despite not needing to go to work at the seas, and the incredible thing is, the following day immediately after his baptism, he began his sailing destiny, sailing to oceans and seas, to every part of the world!
My dad has such a curious mindset, he would spend his sailing days reading the bible, unraveling the boundless mysteries and knowledge it holds. He even calls himself a fanatic christian! He is a true and faithful christian. In fact, he is even willing to give up and let go all he has in this world to follow god, for he knows that what he has on earth is nothing compared to the treasures he will receive in heaven! I looked into his eyes, it was gleaming with joy. I could see the glory of christ shining from within him, and i am so proud that i have him as my earthly father!
Heaven has a narrow door. It is for all to see, but for few to enter.
Had another amazing time with peijun and zhenghui, after a moviewhichnoneofusspokeaboutaftertheshow with them and zhilin. dont be deceived by how fragile zhenghui looks, she is talkative to the MAXX.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Frazer Rowe(pt2)
what a great day. went out with merc to parkway, followed by frazer rowe, followed by followup, followed by dinner. today must have been yet another best day of my life. God, how do u even do it? why is it that u never fail to give me a weekend full of revelations, a weekend full of joy. i just wanna bath in your presence for eternity.
When i woke up, i suddenly knew i couldnt miss men united. but however, when merc finally answered my call, he was on his way there already. i was rather upset, because i knew that men united was such a rare opportunity to learn, what more from the man himself!
Dear god, I have sinned. I have forsakened your word for pleasure i sought. I should never have done so. Christ who lives in me, I plead you, do not forsake me! I surrender my life to your kingdom. Christ who lives in me, you have died on the cross and washed away all my sins, yet i have been so stubborn in seeking your word. There is no way to tell you how thankful i am, except to honor you and submit everything to you. Christ who lives in me, do not forsake me! I have broken yet another promise amongst the infinite other empty promises i made. The truth is, I can't get over the fact that im a sinner. I lack the faith to accept the faith that the unconditional love of your precious son has washed my sins away. This has hindered the fullness of your glory from shining in my life. And this is the sad truth. Dear lord, i pray in your mighty name that you will give me a revelation to accept that the blood of your son has redeemed my every deed, and i will be made flawless once again.
On my way to church
Dear lord, do you know just how much i love you? Let me tell you what happened. I knew i was running late for service, and i prayed in your mighty name, to let me be on time for service. I left parkway at a horrible 2.49pm, and i was panicking throughout the entire time. i knew the situation was rather hopeless; it was impossible for me to be at church by 3pm sharp. I reached payer lebar at 2.59, and i ran and ran. I have never ran this fast and far ever since bmt last jan. I thought to myself, i would rather be all haggard, sweaty and worned out than to miss a single minute in the house of god. I ran and ran and i finally reached the white gate at 3.03. I was incredibly disappointed with myself for being late for service. I thought god didnt answer my prayers. And to make things worse, I ran past the gate, only to find a long queue of people waiting for the lift. One of the lift was down, and i told myself, this must be fate that i will miss more than half of the worship session. I reached the house at 3.10+, only to hear Send Down Your Love being played. I knew i had missed half of the worship songs, because slow songs like these are normally played as the 3rd or 4th song. I prayed to god, please let me hear through all 4 worship songs. And to my delight, a 2nd, 3rd and 4th song was played! Its incredible, because who would have thought that when you reach the house of god at 3.15 or so, you can still listen to all 4 worship songs! God forgives my sin when i pray for his forgiveness. He will never forsake me. Thank you god, for allowing me to worship you. You, my lord, are happy, and I, hence, am happy.
Frazer Rowe: the kingdom of God is destined to grow, because we have obedient pastors, and a faithful god. Give from willingness, not obedience. Stretch ourselves to expand our capacity to grow. Give an offering that is from our hearts hat God can take a deep breath and tell himself, "Ah. This offering smells so good!"
Hebrews 10:30 Do not judge others, for the lord will judge his own people.
Hebrews 13:5-6 I will never fail you, I will never abandon you. The lord is my helper, I have no fear. What can mere people do to me?
Christianity is about being bold, being lionhearted. Jesus took a leap of faith to die for us so that we may reconcile with god. What is a leap of faith by us which cost us not even a pound of flesh?
Thank you god, for reaffirming that it is Christ who lives in me. I love you with all my heart and all my soul. I place my life in your hands. For the glory of Christ shines in my life.
During followup today, John told me that long term guilt comes from the devil who wants to separate us from the love of god. That is why we always feel we are not good enough to face the throne of the most high king in heaven. But from today and on, I shall have faith never to feel guilty after repentance, for i know i am cleansed whiter than snow by the blood of the precious son.
Today, I saw and felt what heaven is like! After we closed our eyes and pray to god, a feeling of numbness overwhelmed me. I could barely feel my flesh, only Christ in my spirit. I felt like i ascended heaven, like i was transported to another dimension, a place where i was floating freely. I could only feel Christ living within me. After i opened my eyes. I was totally dizzy. I had ZERO recollection of where i previously was, and ZERO impression regarding the surrounding i was in. Only after 5 seconds, i finally recalled i was having followup at alfresco with john and daxter. It was incredible. That is truely living by faith and not by sight!
Finally, i just wanna say it was great having dinner with peijun and zhenghui. Havent chilled like this for a long while. I have learnt that serving in ministry is our way of giving back to the house of god. Although we may lose the privilege of being present in service, giving back to the house of god brings us to a whole new level.
Thank you god for yet another fruitful week i had. I assure you, lord, i will never forsake you.
When i woke up, i suddenly knew i couldnt miss men united. but however, when merc finally answered my call, he was on his way there already. i was rather upset, because i knew that men united was such a rare opportunity to learn, what more from the man himself!
Dear god, I have sinned. I have forsakened your word for pleasure i sought. I should never have done so. Christ who lives in me, I plead you, do not forsake me! I surrender my life to your kingdom. Christ who lives in me, you have died on the cross and washed away all my sins, yet i have been so stubborn in seeking your word. There is no way to tell you how thankful i am, except to honor you and submit everything to you. Christ who lives in me, do not forsake me! I have broken yet another promise amongst the infinite other empty promises i made. The truth is, I can't get over the fact that im a sinner. I lack the faith to accept the faith that the unconditional love of your precious son has washed my sins away. This has hindered the fullness of your glory from shining in my life. And this is the sad truth. Dear lord, i pray in your mighty name that you will give me a revelation to accept that the blood of your son has redeemed my every deed, and i will be made flawless once again.
On my way to church
Dear lord, do you know just how much i love you? Let me tell you what happened. I knew i was running late for service, and i prayed in your mighty name, to let me be on time for service. I left parkway at a horrible 2.49pm, and i was panicking throughout the entire time. i knew the situation was rather hopeless; it was impossible for me to be at church by 3pm sharp. I reached payer lebar at 2.59, and i ran and ran. I have never ran this fast and far ever since bmt last jan. I thought to myself, i would rather be all haggard, sweaty and worned out than to miss a single minute in the house of god. I ran and ran and i finally reached the white gate at 3.03. I was incredibly disappointed with myself for being late for service. I thought god didnt answer my prayers. And to make things worse, I ran past the gate, only to find a long queue of people waiting for the lift. One of the lift was down, and i told myself, this must be fate that i will miss more than half of the worship session. I reached the house at 3.10+, only to hear Send Down Your Love being played. I knew i had missed half of the worship songs, because slow songs like these are normally played as the 3rd or 4th song. I prayed to god, please let me hear through all 4 worship songs. And to my delight, a 2nd, 3rd and 4th song was played! Its incredible, because who would have thought that when you reach the house of god at 3.15 or so, you can still listen to all 4 worship songs! God forgives my sin when i pray for his forgiveness. He will never forsake me. Thank you god, for allowing me to worship you. You, my lord, are happy, and I, hence, am happy.
Frazer Rowe: the kingdom of God is destined to grow, because we have obedient pastors, and a faithful god. Give from willingness, not obedience. Stretch ourselves to expand our capacity to grow. Give an offering that is from our hearts hat God can take a deep breath and tell himself, "Ah. This offering smells so good!"
Hebrews 10:30 Do not judge others, for the lord will judge his own people.
Hebrews 13:5-6 I will never fail you, I will never abandon you. The lord is my helper, I have no fear. What can mere people do to me?
Christianity is about being bold, being lionhearted. Jesus took a leap of faith to die for us so that we may reconcile with god. What is a leap of faith by us which cost us not even a pound of flesh?
Thank you god, for reaffirming that it is Christ who lives in me. I love you with all my heart and all my soul. I place my life in your hands. For the glory of Christ shines in my life.
During followup today, John told me that long term guilt comes from the devil who wants to separate us from the love of god. That is why we always feel we are not good enough to face the throne of the most high king in heaven. But from today and on, I shall have faith never to feel guilty after repentance, for i know i am cleansed whiter than snow by the blood of the precious son.
Today, I saw and felt what heaven is like! After we closed our eyes and pray to god, a feeling of numbness overwhelmed me. I could barely feel my flesh, only Christ in my spirit. I felt like i ascended heaven, like i was transported to another dimension, a place where i was floating freely. I could only feel Christ living within me. After i opened my eyes. I was totally dizzy. I had ZERO recollection of where i previously was, and ZERO impression regarding the surrounding i was in. Only after 5 seconds, i finally recalled i was having followup at alfresco with john and daxter. It was incredible. That is truely living by faith and not by sight!
Finally, i just wanna say it was great having dinner with peijun and zhenghui. Havent chilled like this for a long while. I have learnt that serving in ministry is our way of giving back to the house of god. Although we may lose the privilege of being present in service, giving back to the house of god brings us to a whole new level.
Thank you god for yet another fruitful week i had. I assure you, lord, i will never forsake you.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
God's covenant to us
Hebrews 10
14. Because by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy.
17. Then he adds: "Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more."
14. Because by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy.
17. Then he adds: "Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more."
Frazer Rowe
Dear lord, i have once again experienced the happiness and joy you feel, for your joy has brought smiles to my face. I cannot help but feel happy that you, my lord, is happy. You have shown me your majesty and your wonder, for my very thoughts the night before were emphasized by you during service today. We live by faith, and not by sight.
Mark 12:18-27. Our god is the god of the living, not of the dead. When we are saved, we gain eternal life, and we will live forever in the kingdom of god. And god will forever be our god, a god of the living. Jesus gave his life up on the cross for us, but he cannot be defeated by death. Such is the glory of our father.
Dear lord, i pray for a breakthrough in the spirit of evangelism, i believe that when the revelation comes, i will gain a whole new level of understanding in your ways. Dear lord, i pray that you constantly remind me to have a giving heart, not only to those who give, but also to those who take from us. You have given to us your love, your blood and your precious son, whom none of which we deserved. You have given us sinners your unconditional love, and lord, i pray that you will give me strength and courage to be like you, to give to everyone i know, for this is the way to true christlikeness, the way to true love. May your glory continue to shine in my life, for the life i live, i live for you.
C3 church. I would give anything to be there.
Mark 12:18-27. Our god is the god of the living, not of the dead. When we are saved, we gain eternal life, and we will live forever in the kingdom of god. And god will forever be our god, a god of the living. Jesus gave his life up on the cross for us, but he cannot be defeated by death. Such is the glory of our father.
Dear lord, i pray for a breakthrough in the spirit of evangelism, i believe that when the revelation comes, i will gain a whole new level of understanding in your ways. Dear lord, i pray that you constantly remind me to have a giving heart, not only to those who give, but also to those who take from us. You have given to us your love, your blood and your precious son, whom none of which we deserved. You have given us sinners your unconditional love, and lord, i pray that you will give me strength and courage to be like you, to give to everyone i know, for this is the way to true christlikeness, the way to true love. May your glory continue to shine in my life, for the life i live, i live for you.
C3 church. I would give anything to be there.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Bible Study(Book of Mark)
Mark 2:17 17. When Jesus heard this, he told them, "Healthy people dont need a doctor- sick people do. i have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners."
Mark 7:9-13. 9. Then he said, " You skillfully sidestep God's law in order to hold on to your own tradition. 10. For instance, Moses gave you this law from God, 'Honor your father and mother, and anyone who speaks disrespectfully of father or mother must be put to death. 11. But you say it is all right for people to say to their parents, "Sorry, I cant help you. For I have vowed to give to God what i would have given to you. 12. In this way, you let them disregard their needy parents. And so you cancel the word of God in order to hand down your own tradition. And this is only one example among many others."
Mark 9:35 35. He sat down, called the twelve disciples over to him, and said, "Whoever wants to be the first must take last place and be the servant of everyone else."
Mark 9:37 37. "Anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf welcomes me, and anyone who welcomes me welcomes not only me but also my Father who sent me".
Mark 10:15 15. "I tell you the truth, anyone who doesnt receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it."
Mark 10:25 25. "In fact, it is easier for a camel to enter through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of god!"
For a person to give up everything he has to follow God, he will be blessed with 100 times of what he has given up. And he will receive eternal life from god.
Does this mean we should all be poor, so that we can inherit the kingdom of god much more easily?
Mark 7:9-13. 9. Then he said, " You skillfully sidestep God's law in order to hold on to your own tradition. 10. For instance, Moses gave you this law from God, 'Honor your father and mother, and anyone who speaks disrespectfully of father or mother must be put to death. 11. But you say it is all right for people to say to their parents, "Sorry, I cant help you. For I have vowed to give to God what i would have given to you. 12. In this way, you let them disregard their needy parents. And so you cancel the word of God in order to hand down your own tradition. And this is only one example among many others."
Mark 9:35 35. He sat down, called the twelve disciples over to him, and said, "Whoever wants to be the first must take last place and be the servant of everyone else."
Mark 9:37 37. "Anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf welcomes me, and anyone who welcomes me welcomes not only me but also my Father who sent me".
Mark 10:15 15. "I tell you the truth, anyone who doesnt receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it."
Mark 10:25 25. "In fact, it is easier for a camel to enter through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of god!"
For a person to give up everything he has to follow God, he will be blessed with 100 times of what he has given up. And he will receive eternal life from god.
Does this mean we should all be poor, so that we can inherit the kingdom of god much more easily?
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
The power of prayer?
had followup with john and jieru again. i just love to spend my time in the house of god, especially with the worship band there practising! i only hope to concentrate better in the midst of the noise.
to be honest, i havent seriously prayed for anyone in my life, because i feel that christ lives in me, and i dont have to say out loud what i feel for god to know. i will just pray for whoever that needs prayer quietly in my heart, because i know christ has heard my prayer. but peijun says we need to say our prayer out loud to create a greater impact.
i did pray quietly for terence to come to church, and he came. hmm i wonder what would happen if i prayed out loud to you. i think the whole earth will tremble at your majesty! and im gonna do just that!
Dear lord, you have once again showed me the greatness of your children. You have sown a seed in their lives, and they have in turned impacted 30, 60, and even a hundred other lives. For you knew they could change the world. Not only did you know they had a void in their heart. They yearned for a greater cause, and u gave them fullness within. I can see your glory shining out of them, overwhelming. i can see you clearly through their eyes, and lord, i shall honor them like how i honor you, for they are a living testimony of your work, and they carry your glory.
I will walk with faith in the son of god, for lord, you will never forsake me.
Edit: Mark 9:38-39 38. John said to Jesus, "Teacher, we saw someone using your name to cast out demons, but we told him to stop because he wasnt in our group." 39. "Dont stop him!" Jesus said. " No one who performs a miracle in my name will soon be able to speak evil of me again".
to be honest, i havent seriously prayed for anyone in my life, because i feel that christ lives in me, and i dont have to say out loud what i feel for god to know. i will just pray for whoever that needs prayer quietly in my heart, because i know christ has heard my prayer. but peijun says we need to say our prayer out loud to create a greater impact.
i did pray quietly for terence to come to church, and he came. hmm i wonder what would happen if i prayed out loud to you. i think the whole earth will tremble at your majesty! and im gonna do just that!
Dear lord, you have once again showed me the greatness of your children. You have sown a seed in their lives, and they have in turned impacted 30, 60, and even a hundred other lives. For you knew they could change the world. Not only did you know they had a void in their heart. They yearned for a greater cause, and u gave them fullness within. I can see your glory shining out of them, overwhelming. i can see you clearly through their eyes, and lord, i shall honor them like how i honor you, for they are a living testimony of your work, and they carry your glory.
I will walk with faith in the son of god, for lord, you will never forsake me.
Edit: Mark 9:38-39 38. John said to Jesus, "Teacher, we saw someone using your name to cast out demons, but we told him to stop because he wasnt in our group." 39. "Dont stop him!" Jesus said. " No one who performs a miracle in my name will soon be able to speak evil of me again".
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