Im so excited. i just wrapped up my first Building Fund Pledge! And its 120% of my monthly income! And this excludes all that of my other tithes, offerings, and spendings! Im like having super negative monthly income now. But it kkz. i do this by faith in jesus christ, who gave his life up to save us sinners. All that god has given to me in my life is more than a million times of what im giving back to him. And what more, im waiting for the day when hogc grows so incredibly huge everyone will have no choice but to know and realise the power of god.
I cant wait to drop my first pledge into the bfbox!
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Revival Meeting
Today is such an unsmiley day. For the first time in like a month, i havent smiled happily for the entire afternoon to night. Must have been the words god spoke to me. I think i've brokened his heart and misplaced his trust in me. I feel both guilty and troubled. Guilty because for the past few months, i havent been fulfiling my true purpose in life, and troubled because i now carry such a big responsibility in this world.
Before svc today, i was reading a book, and i realised how much more mature and wise i can be. I thought i grew spiritually. Well, many people did. But in fact, i think that what i've seen and experienced is only the tip of the iceberg as to what my calling is. There are so so many more things i can do. While i have never doubted my love for god, i know i havent been obeying one of his greatest commandments; love one another like yourself. Its so sad, because everyday i have been telling myself, i must love other people, i must love other people, but deep down, i know i havent been loving them enough. And i think thats where the problem and challenge lies, when you begin to love imperfection. My love for god has been 100%, for his love for me has been perfect. But to what extent can we boldly say we love imperfect people too?
During svc today, this ugly truth was once again highlighted in my life. In my life, i see so many windows of opportunity for me to act. God has placed me in an environment where they are so many non christians, and many of them are my close friends. But for the past few months, i have been a horrible horrible person. My attempts to introduce the king above all kings, lord above all lords, the great and almighty god have been so weak and futile. Its was so clear that my words lacked pure conviction, lacked empowerment, lacked the glory of god. It is little wonder why i have failed so terribly. I have, to put it crudely, disgraced my status as a christian. Other times, i became a mere onlooker, watching them sin without myself even shivering in disgust. Its just so tragic that while god has given me so much of his glory to shine in my life, i havent been able to extend his glory to others. What more do i deserve from god, than a slap on my face and a wake up call. For the past few months, what i did can be summed up to watching them falling prey to the devil, watching them getting consumed with sin and watching them drown in a sinking ship. While for me, I happily held on to a rope, busy with my own safety, while they sink quickly into the quicksand. God has given me so much grace and love, but i failed to deliver his hope and purpose in my life. Yes, I have wasted his love. I am truly ashamed.
Perhaps the only matter i can rejoice in would be that they havent fully sunken in yet. I can still reach my hand to them and save their lives. While every second i waste would be them sinking even deeper, I will pull them with all my might and strength which i draw from the lord and make sure they are saved and freed from the chains of the devil. This day, i commit my life to god's purpose, i will live for others, and seek to bring salvation to all. The bible says in Luke 19:17, "And he said to him, 'Well done, good slave, because you have been faithful in a very little thing, you are to be in authority over ten cities.'" I now boldly declare that this is god's calling onto my life, to move even the highest mountains, to part even the deepest oceans. All i ask is for you, jesus, to never forsake me when i need you, for you to forever give me your glory and edify my soul. For this time, i will not fail you.
Before svc today, i was reading a book, and i realised how much more mature and wise i can be. I thought i grew spiritually. Well, many people did. But in fact, i think that what i've seen and experienced is only the tip of the iceberg as to what my calling is. There are so so many more things i can do. While i have never doubted my love for god, i know i havent been obeying one of his greatest commandments; love one another like yourself. Its so sad, because everyday i have been telling myself, i must love other people, i must love other people, but deep down, i know i havent been loving them enough. And i think thats where the problem and challenge lies, when you begin to love imperfection. My love for god has been 100%, for his love for me has been perfect. But to what extent can we boldly say we love imperfect people too?
During svc today, this ugly truth was once again highlighted in my life. In my life, i see so many windows of opportunity for me to act. God has placed me in an environment where they are so many non christians, and many of them are my close friends. But for the past few months, i have been a horrible horrible person. My attempts to introduce the king above all kings, lord above all lords, the great and almighty god have been so weak and futile. Its was so clear that my words lacked pure conviction, lacked empowerment, lacked the glory of god. It is little wonder why i have failed so terribly. I have, to put it crudely, disgraced my status as a christian. Other times, i became a mere onlooker, watching them sin without myself even shivering in disgust. Its just so tragic that while god has given me so much of his glory to shine in my life, i havent been able to extend his glory to others. What more do i deserve from god, than a slap on my face and a wake up call. For the past few months, what i did can be summed up to watching them falling prey to the devil, watching them getting consumed with sin and watching them drown in a sinking ship. While for me, I happily held on to a rope, busy with my own safety, while they sink quickly into the quicksand. God has given me so much grace and love, but i failed to deliver his hope and purpose in my life. Yes, I have wasted his love. I am truly ashamed.
Perhaps the only matter i can rejoice in would be that they havent fully sunken in yet. I can still reach my hand to them and save their lives. While every second i waste would be them sinking even deeper, I will pull them with all my might and strength which i draw from the lord and make sure they are saved and freed from the chains of the devil. This day, i commit my life to god's purpose, i will live for others, and seek to bring salvation to all. The bible says in Luke 19:17, "And he said to him, 'Well done, good slave, because you have been faithful in a very little thing, you are to be in authority over ten cities.'" I now boldly declare that this is god's calling onto my life, to move even the highest mountains, to part even the deepest oceans. All i ask is for you, jesus, to never forsake me when i need you, for you to forever give me your glory and edify my soul. For this time, i will not fail you.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Pastor Troy Marshal
What a wonderful weekend this has been. Filled with so much excitement and faith.
Went to dakota hawker centre with my family today for lunch! The variety is super wide i was completely spoilt for choices. But i had one aim in mind, to hunt for the famous dakota tauhuayy! i walked round and round but i couldnt find a distinct store with super long queue. Unexpectedly, i saw someone from church carrying like 100 tauhuay walking out of the hawker, so i knew it had to be around somewhere! I saw a quite flashy shop selling tauhuay, but the plastic bag they used wasnt red. so confirm not tt store. and then right where my family was sitting, there was a notsoflashy tauhuay store infront of us. I told myself, it has to be it! so i went to buy the tauhuay, and on the first bite, i expected to like ascend and fly. but it tasted quite ordinary.. But on the second mouth, it became yummyly delicious! But i really hope i ate the correct dakota tauhuay.
This story is long but definitely worth remembering, so im gonna make it into black and white so i can rmb it for life!
Went to parkway to buy balloons after that. After alighting from the bus, i decided to walk left instead of right because it was a shorter path into parkway shopping centre. So as i was crossing the overhead bridge, i rmbed i havent drawn money to buy the balloons, and atm was on the other side of the road. so i was like, bah. how forgetful can i get. and i proceeded towards the shop. Upon reaching the shop, the realised that the pricing was different from what they said online, from $1 to $1.45. Super huge jump, especially when i was gonna buy 20 balloons. Thats like 50% more expensive. So i decided to try to bargain, but she wouldnt budge. She was super fierce and angsty also, and she told me that she had to prepare 100 balloons in like 10min time, and if i dont buy now, i need to wait until she finishes her 100 balloons which was like 1hr later. So i was like. okay fine. but i needed to draw money first to buy. So i went out of parkway and walked to the draw money area which was right out at the bus stop. As i walked, i was praying to god for a miracle to happen.
And on my way back, i saw standard chartered giving free nonhelium-balloons-on-a-stick! and beside them was maybank giving free helium balloons! So and idea came into my head! Take 20 free helium balloons, and i dont have to pay a single cent! So i went to take 2 balloons, then i asked for 10 more. Expectedly, the staff wouldnt give la. but he told me i could get my friends to come and take the balloons. And so under the hot sun, i started to look for approachable people to ask for help! And so qiao, i saw xiongann! and i asked him to help me take balloons! And he and his friend,took 2 for me, so i had 4! But i had only 4, i needed like alot more. So i looked around for options, and i saw a boy walking around aimlessly giving out flyers. I intelligently proposed a trade with him! I help him give out flyers, he help me take balloons! and so it happened! best thing was that he called his friend who was giving out flyers as well to help to take more balloons! and in exchange, i helped his friend give out flyers too! And incredibly, the 2 of them took 6 balloons in total! I had 10 balloons! i was super super thankful to them! but i had to continue my quest for more balloons! In 1 hand i was holding 10 balloons, and in the other, i was giving out flyers. and like 5 ppl approached me, can i have a balloon? i was like. im not from maybank yo! But there was 1 girl who wanted a balloon quite desperately, so i reluctantly gave her 1.
So until then, i had 9 balloons in total. I headed back to the shop, like 25 min later, and i saw that she was already preparing the 100 balloons she needed. I was like, oh no. u better take my order!! With the widest smile, i approached the staff telling her im back to buy the balloons, but this time i needed only 11, and the previous angsty, angrylooking staff became a totally changed person. Friendly and supportative! She saw my maybank balloons, and i dont know if it was out of sympathy or kindness, she willingly volunteered to give me 5 more balloons for free, saying that the maybank balloons i had wouldnt last! Its really quite a miracle because who would expect an established shop to give out free balloons which cost $1.45 each to a totally random customer out of free will? I had completely no relationships with her before today whatsoever. I was like, no way! God really moves in our lives! Now i have 25 balloons! 9 maybank, 11 paid for, and 5 free!
Happily i took the balloons to church! The only downside was that i couldnt board public transport with 25 balloons in my hand. So i had no choice but to spend $5.40 on cab. Its so incredible that while i was alone during the entire time searching for the balloons, i could god with me throughout the entire time! And he seemed to be telling me what i had to do, And thinking back, all these would have been made possible only if i had forgotten that i needed to draw money and walked left instead of right! This once again emphasizes on the fact that we need to trust god always, even when we experience errors and mistakes, for god always has a plan for us!
Pastor troy is so sincere! From just one single idea he wants us to understand, he goes through so many different platforms to explain, relating to his life, our life, and everyday occurences! And the thing which shows his sincerity at its best was when he was willing to go overtime to preach about the single idea he wants us to understand!(although i think most of us get his drift already) I think he was still worried that we might not have grasped the concept entirely, so he took pains to give countless examples to emphasize on that point. He has such a heart for all of us! And during altar call, he went to every single person to bless them!
And im so happy i went up to the front today! But of course, i have to thank peijun for giving me the nudge, and for zhanyu who reassuringly told me that he would be fine alone. The feeling infront was totally different. Immediately after reaching the front, i looked up and saw dom looking back at me. His eyes were full of godly compassion. I could really see the glory of god shining infront of me, as though telling me, you are my dearly loved son, and you bring me great joy! Lynette came and prayed for me. and im so thankful it was lynette who prayed for me. For she knows my doubts and fears, and only she, knows what i needed to hear.
After a wonderful week with god, its now back to work. Time to put my trust in god, and know that everything that happens happen for a reason.
Went to dakota hawker centre with my family today for lunch! The variety is super wide i was completely spoilt for choices. But i had one aim in mind, to hunt for the famous dakota tauhuayy! i walked round and round but i couldnt find a distinct store with super long queue. Unexpectedly, i saw someone from church carrying like 100 tauhuay walking out of the hawker, so i knew it had to be around somewhere! I saw a quite flashy shop selling tauhuay, but the plastic bag they used wasnt red. so confirm not tt store. and then right where my family was sitting, there was a notsoflashy tauhuay store infront of us. I told myself, it has to be it! so i went to buy the tauhuay, and on the first bite, i expected to like ascend and fly. but it tasted quite ordinary.. But on the second mouth, it became yummyly delicious! But i really hope i ate the correct dakota tauhuay.
This story is long but definitely worth remembering, so im gonna make it into black and white so i can rmb it for life!
Went to parkway to buy balloons after that. After alighting from the bus, i decided to walk left instead of right because it was a shorter path into parkway shopping centre. So as i was crossing the overhead bridge, i rmbed i havent drawn money to buy the balloons, and atm was on the other side of the road. so i was like, bah. how forgetful can i get. and i proceeded towards the shop. Upon reaching the shop, the realised that the pricing was different from what they said online, from $1 to $1.45. Super huge jump, especially when i was gonna buy 20 balloons. Thats like 50% more expensive. So i decided to try to bargain, but she wouldnt budge. She was super fierce and angsty also, and she told me that she had to prepare 100 balloons in like 10min time, and if i dont buy now, i need to wait until she finishes her 100 balloons which was like 1hr later. So i was like. okay fine. but i needed to draw money first to buy. So i went out of parkway and walked to the draw money area which was right out at the bus stop. As i walked, i was praying to god for a miracle to happen.
And on my way back, i saw standard chartered giving free nonhelium-balloons-on-a-stick! and beside them was maybank giving free helium balloons! So and idea came into my head! Take 20 free helium balloons, and i dont have to pay a single cent! So i went to take 2 balloons, then i asked for 10 more. Expectedly, the staff wouldnt give la. but he told me i could get my friends to come and take the balloons. And so under the hot sun, i started to look for approachable people to ask for help! And so qiao, i saw xiongann! and i asked him to help me take balloons! And he and his friend,took 2 for me, so i had 4! But i had only 4, i needed like alot more. So i looked around for options, and i saw a boy walking around aimlessly giving out flyers. I intelligently proposed a trade with him! I help him give out flyers, he help me take balloons! and so it happened! best thing was that he called his friend who was giving out flyers as well to help to take more balloons! and in exchange, i helped his friend give out flyers too! And incredibly, the 2 of them took 6 balloons in total! I had 10 balloons! i was super super thankful to them! but i had to continue my quest for more balloons! In 1 hand i was holding 10 balloons, and in the other, i was giving out flyers. and like 5 ppl approached me, can i have a balloon? i was like. im not from maybank yo! But there was 1 girl who wanted a balloon quite desperately, so i reluctantly gave her 1.
So until then, i had 9 balloons in total. I headed back to the shop, like 25 min later, and i saw that she was already preparing the 100 balloons she needed. I was like, oh no. u better take my order!! With the widest smile, i approached the staff telling her im back to buy the balloons, but this time i needed only 11, and the previous angsty, angrylooking staff became a totally changed person. Friendly and supportative! She saw my maybank balloons, and i dont know if it was out of sympathy or kindness, she willingly volunteered to give me 5 more balloons for free, saying that the maybank balloons i had wouldnt last! Its really quite a miracle because who would expect an established shop to give out free balloons which cost $1.45 each to a totally random customer out of free will? I had completely no relationships with her before today whatsoever. I was like, no way! God really moves in our lives! Now i have 25 balloons! 9 maybank, 11 paid for, and 5 free!
Happily i took the balloons to church! The only downside was that i couldnt board public transport with 25 balloons in my hand. So i had no choice but to spend $5.40 on cab. Its so incredible that while i was alone during the entire time searching for the balloons, i could god with me throughout the entire time! And he seemed to be telling me what i had to do, And thinking back, all these would have been made possible only if i had forgotten that i needed to draw money and walked left instead of right! This once again emphasizes on the fact that we need to trust god always, even when we experience errors and mistakes, for god always has a plan for us!
Pastor troy is so sincere! From just one single idea he wants us to understand, he goes through so many different platforms to explain, relating to his life, our life, and everyday occurences! And the thing which shows his sincerity at its best was when he was willing to go overtime to preach about the single idea he wants us to understand!(although i think most of us get his drift already) I think he was still worried that we might not have grasped the concept entirely, so he took pains to give countless examples to emphasize on that point. He has such a heart for all of us! And during altar call, he went to every single person to bless them!
And im so happy i went up to the front today! But of course, i have to thank peijun for giving me the nudge, and for zhanyu who reassuringly told me that he would be fine alone. The feeling infront was totally different. Immediately after reaching the front, i looked up and saw dom looking back at me. His eyes were full of godly compassion. I could really see the glory of god shining infront of me, as though telling me, you are my dearly loved son, and you bring me great joy! Lynette came and prayed for me. and im so thankful it was lynette who prayed for me. For she knows my doubts and fears, and only she, knows what i needed to hear.
After a wonderful week with god, its now back to work. Time to put my trust in god, and know that everything that happens happen for a reason.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Healing Wounds.
What a long long day today have been. A long, tiring and rough day, yet also a day that has made me stronger and more powerful.
The first stab:
Today at work, we kind of screwed up by lying the key around, and the officer came and deliberately took the key away. and declared his hostility on us, intending to give us extras as punishment. I have really no qualms about his anger, because its the second time that this incident has happened. But i only wished he would look deeper into the matter and find out the source of the problem, instead of just giving a general and superficial solution like punishing us. Extra work on weekends are okay, im totally fine with it. Its the missing of service that im concerned with, especially with the month of dec arriving. I really hope that i get my christmas weekend free.
The second stab on the same spot:
I was really disturbed by the entire issue, because i normally dont get into trouble at all. Since primary school, i've always tried to keep my slate clean, making sure i dont get myself any unnecessary scoldings. But in this short span of a few months, it has been a turbulent journey for me. I was hence, rather upset with myself for getting into trouble again, and i brought this negative attitude to bff meeting. Unexpectedly, things didnt turn out much better during the meeting. The event was only 2 days away, and i had completely no knowledge that the entire order of events was restructured. Being part of the organising team, i was firstly, shocked that the information that the order of events was revamped was not dissemminated out accurately. Secondly, i felt really guilty for not probing and updating myself on any new changes to the event. Furthermore, one entire segment of the games was taken out; the segment that was supposedly to be hosted by me. Not only had i gotten most of the materials i needed ready, i even had my script written typed out! I saw this golden opportunity given to me as a chance to grow, to rise up in my confidence, and i put in the required effort to ensure success. Unfortunately, this segment was removed, and to think that i was still rehearsing and memorising my script minutes before the meeting! But perhaps the most painful was the indifference portrayed generally. But this is really uncool, and I shall not elaborate.
I immediately wrote in my itouch "God, give me strength", and through faith, i told myself, you probably are not ready for this yet. And deep down i know its true. I knew i wasnt 100% ready for it yet, but i was ready to stretch my faith and trust in god to carry me to my maximum potential. But i guess god knew this wasnt the right time yet. To be rather honest, one part of me was rather relieved that this responsibility was lifted off my shoulders, but the other part of me knew that this would have been a golden opportunity to test and stretch my faith. Nevertheless, i decided to believe that god has a greater plan for me, and this was not the time.
But the real reason that really inspired me and pulled me out of this valley was the presence of a sacrificial heart in each of the team members. All of them had such faith and confidence in the entire event, and they continually volunteered to provide for the event, especially huiyu, who was exceptional today. She volunteered to buy and fill the balloons, bring torchlight, whistle, buy the red dots, bring the people there and even volunteered to share what she felt first! Everything that we needed to do, she said she was willing to do it. And it was quite clear to me that she wasnt going to be able to bring the people there and get the balloons simultaneously, and in my heart i was like, huh. how is that going to be possible. But she said it with so much conviction that she could do it, it really touched me. Isnt this the very core foundation of christianity; doing the impossible through faith in christ who strengthens you, the exact and perfect mindset every christian should have? At a secondary one level, whether by pure luck or accident, she has displayed a tremendous amount of christlikeness, sacrificing to build god's house and believing in the impossible through faith in christ. And i dont think anyone else in the meeting noticed this moment of magnificent display of christlikeness, but i tell you, i see her childlike faith gleaming from within her, and if she can inspire me through her small yet selfless acts, i truly believe she will grow up to be a great person.
On a lighter note, i went out with joey for a somewhat dinner at tauhuay. Seems like its becoming a weekly thing that we go out together for dinner/supper on a weekday. Shared with him what i felt about many stuff, including different things about what different people said. I was quite glad that he understood how i felt when my segment was removed from the order of events. It made me feel alot happier. And a cooler thing that happened was that jianming called me on my hp!! I shared with him via sms about the stuff that happened today, and he called me to tell me about what i should do etc.
It was heartwarming. I feel really honored to be able to receive so much attention from him, and the best thing that happened was that he said next time if i had any problems or issues regarding life, he would very much want to hear my problems so that he can guide me as to what i should do and how i should face it. This sentence made me really touched, that such a busy person was actually concerned about my problems, and even wanted to share my problems anytime. Acts like these are like nitro to me; they boost my speed in this race for god.
A few weeks ago, i was telling myself how much i will miss john when hes not around. I will miss his presence. All his words of encouragement and life will no longer be there to lift me higher. But today, i see god's greater plan. The disappearance of john has brought about a whole new light in my life, jianming. I may have lost a row of guiding light in a single street, but i have received a dozen times more light in my life, which can fill an entire city. Every path i walk i shall see christ at the end, for ultimately he is the source of all light in the world. And with this, i once again praise the lord with all my heart, and i leave the outcome of every event in my life into his hands.
The first stab:
Today at work, we kind of screwed up by lying the key around, and the officer came and deliberately took the key away. and declared his hostility on us, intending to give us extras as punishment. I have really no qualms about his anger, because its the second time that this incident has happened. But i only wished he would look deeper into the matter and find out the source of the problem, instead of just giving a general and superficial solution like punishing us. Extra work on weekends are okay, im totally fine with it. Its the missing of service that im concerned with, especially with the month of dec arriving. I really hope that i get my christmas weekend free.
The second stab on the same spot:
I was really disturbed by the entire issue, because i normally dont get into trouble at all. Since primary school, i've always tried to keep my slate clean, making sure i dont get myself any unnecessary scoldings. But in this short span of a few months, it has been a turbulent journey for me. I was hence, rather upset with myself for getting into trouble again, and i brought this negative attitude to bff meeting. Unexpectedly, things didnt turn out much better during the meeting. The event was only 2 days away, and i had completely no knowledge that the entire order of events was restructured. Being part of the organising team, i was firstly, shocked that the information that the order of events was revamped was not dissemminated out accurately. Secondly, i felt really guilty for not probing and updating myself on any new changes to the event. Furthermore, one entire segment of the games was taken out; the segment that was supposedly to be hosted by me. Not only had i gotten most of the materials i needed ready, i even had my script written typed out! I saw this golden opportunity given to me as a chance to grow, to rise up in my confidence, and i put in the required effort to ensure success. Unfortunately, this segment was removed, and to think that i was still rehearsing and memorising my script minutes before the meeting! But perhaps the most painful was the indifference portrayed generally. But this is really uncool, and I shall not elaborate.
I immediately wrote in my itouch "God, give me strength", and through faith, i told myself, you probably are not ready for this yet. And deep down i know its true. I knew i wasnt 100% ready for it yet, but i was ready to stretch my faith and trust in god to carry me to my maximum potential. But i guess god knew this wasnt the right time yet. To be rather honest, one part of me was rather relieved that this responsibility was lifted off my shoulders, but the other part of me knew that this would have been a golden opportunity to test and stretch my faith. Nevertheless, i decided to believe that god has a greater plan for me, and this was not the time.
But the real reason that really inspired me and pulled me out of this valley was the presence of a sacrificial heart in each of the team members. All of them had such faith and confidence in the entire event, and they continually volunteered to provide for the event, especially huiyu, who was exceptional today. She volunteered to buy and fill the balloons, bring torchlight, whistle, buy the red dots, bring the people there and even volunteered to share what she felt first! Everything that we needed to do, she said she was willing to do it. And it was quite clear to me that she wasnt going to be able to bring the people there and get the balloons simultaneously, and in my heart i was like, huh. how is that going to be possible. But she said it with so much conviction that she could do it, it really touched me. Isnt this the very core foundation of christianity; doing the impossible through faith in christ who strengthens you, the exact and perfect mindset every christian should have? At a secondary one level, whether by pure luck or accident, she has displayed a tremendous amount of christlikeness, sacrificing to build god's house and believing in the impossible through faith in christ. And i dont think anyone else in the meeting noticed this moment of magnificent display of christlikeness, but i tell you, i see her childlike faith gleaming from within her, and if she can inspire me through her small yet selfless acts, i truly believe she will grow up to be a great person.
On a lighter note, i went out with joey for a somewhat dinner at tauhuay. Seems like its becoming a weekly thing that we go out together for dinner/supper on a weekday. Shared with him what i felt about many stuff, including different things about what different people said. I was quite glad that he understood how i felt when my segment was removed from the order of events. It made me feel alot happier. And a cooler thing that happened was that jianming called me on my hp!! I shared with him via sms about the stuff that happened today, and he called me to tell me about what i should do etc.
It was heartwarming. I feel really honored to be able to receive so much attention from him, and the best thing that happened was that he said next time if i had any problems or issues regarding life, he would very much want to hear my problems so that he can guide me as to what i should do and how i should face it. This sentence made me really touched, that such a busy person was actually concerned about my problems, and even wanted to share my problems anytime. Acts like these are like nitro to me; they boost my speed in this race for god.
A few weeks ago, i was telling myself how much i will miss john when hes not around. I will miss his presence. All his words of encouragement and life will no longer be there to lift me higher. But today, i see god's greater plan. The disappearance of john has brought about a whole new light in my life, jianming. I may have lost a row of guiding light in a single street, but i have received a dozen times more light in my life, which can fill an entire city. Every path i walk i shall see christ at the end, for ultimately he is the source of all light in the world. And with this, i once again praise the lord with all my heart, and i leave the outcome of every event in my life into his hands.
Friday, November 12, 2010
My First Motivations.
Okay in this post im gonna talk about how i ended up in hogc and my motivations to carry on attending hogc. But firstly im just gonna set the context a little bit first and talk about some stuff that happened today.
Something irrelevant that happened the past few days was a seminar that i was involved in. It was probably the first major event that i helped out in as part of the organising commitee. It was quite exciting to be part of the backstage crew. In the past i was always the sheep being herded by the ushers, and always listening to instructions while blending in with the crowd. But this time, I participated as part of the organising commitee, so i was the one herding the sheeps. And the power of the herding instinct is so great. Just tell a few people to move and everyone will follow naturally. But of course, theres always the stubborn people that dont want to move. And i know how irritating it is when people keep asking you to move quicker and quicker when you just dont feel like walking faster. So today i more or less gave them the freedom to lag behind and stone etc, in light of spreading daniel's policy of creating a peaceful, happy and stressfree environment for everyone to embrace in!
And of course another thing i've learnt is that events and activities can only drag longer; it can never be shorter than scheduled. Its always better to let them wait for the next activity, rather than to rush everyone to meet the timings for the next activity. And thus, i shall remember this simple rule i've learnt and apply it on all my future management projects that i may have. And argh. im getting arrowed by a few irritating people. Yet again, God is testing me with another trial or tribulation. Will i continue to love them and even offer up my other cheek, or will i remain silent and accept, or will i silent rage? I only hope for the best.
Went for bff meeting. It was super productive today! Every meeting i see the same familiar faces; they never fail to turn up for every meeting! Its because of such sacrifices people put in that make every meeting productive and on-schedule, and hence the event successful. And these sacrifices did not stop here, but went on throughout the meeting. Sacrificial volunteerism is perhaps the most important ingredient to make things work, and is also the fundamental inspiration towards team excellence. And it works exactly like a chain effect. But sadly, this is never the case in many situations out there. Which is why much work needs to be done to build his kingdom!
Talked to joey about the burdens of a leader. I think being a spiritual leader requires so much sacrifice, the most fundamental being your rest. On top of all the compulsory/enforced burdens that they already have, ie with school, work,family etc, they take on another heavy load of optional burdens willingly, ie the troubles of their disciples, the life of their disciplies, ministry. Its really not easy handling and juggling so many things at hand. I often wonder to myself, why would anyone take on such heavy burdens on their shoulders? Dont they have enough problems at hand already? How can they ever expect themselves to excel with all the juggling they need to do? But i guess their motivation comes from a few things; the priceless treasures in heaven, the leap in spiritual growth, the genuine happiness they feel when they change a life. And its true. Amidst all the stress and woes they might have, their purpose in life is clear. The life they live, they live by faith in the Son of God who loved them and gave himself for them.
I remember being very reluctant to go to church the first time in easter. I was living a perfectly fine life, with the right amount of friends, family time, tv time etc. Adding in a church on saturdays would have meant chaos to my schedule, because my precious saturday evenings would be spent normally with stoners. And what more i was staying in in base then. Having only 2 days free out of a week, spending a saturday evening at church would be a heavy sacrifice for me. But having promised bai and dessy that i would go with them to church one day, and after rejecting their ofers for the past few weeks, i finally decided to move my lazy self off my house to be there on easter. I cant really remember what happened the subsequent weeks other than the many hi's i got, but i just wanna highlight a few people that made a gigantic difference to my motivation to continue attending church. Bai and dessy were of course my key motivations, but there was someone else who made a drastic difference, and that person was qianqian. I vividly remember on that very easter day, i stayed back in church and talked to her continuously for two whole hours. We exchanged numbers and from that very day, my life took a complete turn. Weekly for almost two months, she would sms me "daniel, going for svc this weekend : )?" with almost 10 different variations, but all with the same intent. She would tell me all about whats gonna happen for svc, and she would update me on special events that was gonna happen the following weeks. Then, I didnt really bother about all those upcoming events because it would just mean sacrificing more of my sat evenings. So actually i was just fuyan-ing her most of the time. However, she was really persistent, smsing me every week to attend svc. And only through much of her persuation and pestering along with bai and dessy did i decide to continue attending svcs, and that was when i took the first leap of faith to accept the presence of a living god.
Looking back, i could never have commited myself to go to church if not for qianqian and her persistent invitations. And this is something i can never thank her enough for. Putting me in her shoes then, i would probably have given up trying to persuade this irritating fellow, and carried on with life. But she had faith that god will move in my life, and God certainly did. I now see the importance of believing. And because of this one faithfilled act from her to move a boulder, i will always remember it, and hence, use this as an inspiration to move even the largest mountains and part the deepest seas.
Something irrelevant that happened the past few days was a seminar that i was involved in. It was probably the first major event that i helped out in as part of the organising commitee. It was quite exciting to be part of the backstage crew. In the past i was always the sheep being herded by the ushers, and always listening to instructions while blending in with the crowd. But this time, I participated as part of the organising commitee, so i was the one herding the sheeps. And the power of the herding instinct is so great. Just tell a few people to move and everyone will follow naturally. But of course, theres always the stubborn people that dont want to move. And i know how irritating it is when people keep asking you to move quicker and quicker when you just dont feel like walking faster. So today i more or less gave them the freedom to lag behind and stone etc, in light of spreading daniel's policy of creating a peaceful, happy and stressfree environment for everyone to embrace in!
And of course another thing i've learnt is that events and activities can only drag longer; it can never be shorter than scheduled. Its always better to let them wait for the next activity, rather than to rush everyone to meet the timings for the next activity. And thus, i shall remember this simple rule i've learnt and apply it on all my future management projects that i may have. And argh. im getting arrowed by a few irritating people. Yet again, God is testing me with another trial or tribulation. Will i continue to love them and even offer up my other cheek, or will i remain silent and accept, or will i silent rage? I only hope for the best.
Went for bff meeting. It was super productive today! Every meeting i see the same familiar faces; they never fail to turn up for every meeting! Its because of such sacrifices people put in that make every meeting productive and on-schedule, and hence the event successful. And these sacrifices did not stop here, but went on throughout the meeting. Sacrificial volunteerism is perhaps the most important ingredient to make things work, and is also the fundamental inspiration towards team excellence. And it works exactly like a chain effect. But sadly, this is never the case in many situations out there. Which is why much work needs to be done to build his kingdom!
Talked to joey about the burdens of a leader. I think being a spiritual leader requires so much sacrifice, the most fundamental being your rest. On top of all the compulsory/enforced burdens that they already have, ie with school, work,family etc, they take on another heavy load of optional burdens willingly, ie the troubles of their disciples, the life of their disciplies, ministry. Its really not easy handling and juggling so many things at hand. I often wonder to myself, why would anyone take on such heavy burdens on their shoulders? Dont they have enough problems at hand already? How can they ever expect themselves to excel with all the juggling they need to do? But i guess their motivation comes from a few things; the priceless treasures in heaven, the leap in spiritual growth, the genuine happiness they feel when they change a life. And its true. Amidst all the stress and woes they might have, their purpose in life is clear. The life they live, they live by faith in the Son of God who loved them and gave himself for them.
I remember being very reluctant to go to church the first time in easter. I was living a perfectly fine life, with the right amount of friends, family time, tv time etc. Adding in a church on saturdays would have meant chaos to my schedule, because my precious saturday evenings would be spent normally with stoners. And what more i was staying in in base then. Having only 2 days free out of a week, spending a saturday evening at church would be a heavy sacrifice for me. But having promised bai and dessy that i would go with them to church one day, and after rejecting their ofers for the past few weeks, i finally decided to move my lazy self off my house to be there on easter. I cant really remember what happened the subsequent weeks other than the many hi's i got, but i just wanna highlight a few people that made a gigantic difference to my motivation to continue attending church. Bai and dessy were of course my key motivations, but there was someone else who made a drastic difference, and that person was qianqian. I vividly remember on that very easter day, i stayed back in church and talked to her continuously for two whole hours. We exchanged numbers and from that very day, my life took a complete turn. Weekly for almost two months, she would sms me "daniel, going for svc this weekend : )?" with almost 10 different variations, but all with the same intent. She would tell me all about whats gonna happen for svc, and she would update me on special events that was gonna happen the following weeks. Then, I didnt really bother about all those upcoming events because it would just mean sacrificing more of my sat evenings. So actually i was just fuyan-ing her most of the time. However, she was really persistent, smsing me every week to attend svc. And only through much of her persuation and pestering along with bai and dessy did i decide to continue attending svcs, and that was when i took the first leap of faith to accept the presence of a living god.
Looking back, i could never have commited myself to go to church if not for qianqian and her persistent invitations. And this is something i can never thank her enough for. Putting me in her shoes then, i would probably have given up trying to persuade this irritating fellow, and carried on with life. But she had faith that god will move in my life, and God certainly did. I now see the importance of believing. And because of this one faithfilled act from her to move a boulder, i will always remember it, and hence, use this as an inspiration to move even the largest mountains and part the deepest seas.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
My Best Life.
After every weekend svc, i feel that im appreciating and loving pastors more and more. Take last weekend for example. For once, i actually felt rather disappointed that pastor how isnt here with us to preach the word. Im beginning to see his labour in this church, and beginning to realise the abundant wisdom he has. And hes only 40! And what Jieru said is true. I can see that all the young leaders in church directly below under him are all beginning to display shadows of pastor how. And if you need to combine the young leaders together to get one pastor how, then this pastor how must really be somebody.And of course, not forgetting pastor lia. The thing about pastor lia is that she is just so fluent and articulate. Her vocab is so wide, she can paraphase the same point in 100 different ways. And this is of course a very useful skill to have, especially when you need to pray for people. She has the gift of language, and when she is never limited and restricted in her vocab when praying. And this is perhaps what makes her especially powerful, she can identify every single shade in our life, whether in the deepest hole or the most hidden corner, and hence shine god's light onto those very shades.
But of course, my favourite worship leader is definitely roy. His praise and worship for god is always so flawless, its as though you're actually hearing an album recording of the song. Its always so good to know that roy is the one leading the worship songs, because he is the one that can singlehandedly carry the entire worship of the church to a 100%.
Since a few weeks back, i've upped my basic offering every svc. And its so good to know that even after doing that, the rate of outflow of cash from my wallet is much lower than i expected it to be. Its as though my wallet auto refills by itself every week! And its november. Time for bf soon.
And wow. pj john and zl are pcgls. They definitely have what it takes to lead more people, after all that i've seen them done, not only for me but for the entire cg. They are definitely key personels of the cg and its about time they take up a greater responsibility to care for even more people. And its kind of cool, because john is my followupleader and pj+zl are my cg tls. Its great to see them rising up, because they will be my greatest inspirations to change the world.
Last weekend, pastor lia said about not just turning up, but tuning up to wordlife. And im so glad this sermon came exactly at the right time. A while too early, i would have dismissed the entire sermon as something i need to do next time; a while too late and i would have wasted even more time in gaining the wisdom of God. Now that i know my love for God is 100%, its time to love him in the immeasurable ways. A few weeks back, i spilled sugary drink on my bible, and since then, it has been rotting in my room. I've been feeling kind of guilty then, but after sermon last weekend, I realised that this might just have been part of god's plan all along. I think this is definitely god's way to tell me that its time i stop relying on using substitute bibles and get myself a new, personal bible. But this time, not just any bible, but a proper study bible. And actually, i thought of buying it after bf. But after doing some simple cost benefit analysis, I realised that the price of the study bible is not going change whether i buy it now or buy it later. So assuming ceteris paribus, although saving money is of priority now, tapping on my reserves now or later will not make any difference whatsoever. In fact, the knowledge im gonna gain from buying a study bible now compared to 3 months later would have already been more valuable than whatever interest or inflation i might experience if i spend later. Or actually whatever inflation there may be would have been negligible and accounted for since the real value of the bible would still be the same. In other words, i should just buy the study bible asap. And then i shall start to sharpen my sword so that when the moment comes, victory will be certain.
And lastly, now that followup is over, i know that my love for god is an assuring 100%. And now that i've completed my first milestone, its time to begin another journey; to be able to love him in the immeasurable ways. And the most basic and fundamental would be to first read and learn of his words. Hence from the next post onwards, there will be a change. An advancement by going back to the basics.
But of course, my favourite worship leader is definitely roy. His praise and worship for god is always so flawless, its as though you're actually hearing an album recording of the song. Its always so good to know that roy is the one leading the worship songs, because he is the one that can singlehandedly carry the entire worship of the church to a 100%.
Since a few weeks back, i've upped my basic offering every svc. And its so good to know that even after doing that, the rate of outflow of cash from my wallet is much lower than i expected it to be. Its as though my wallet auto refills by itself every week! And its november. Time for bf soon.
And wow. pj john and zl are pcgls. They definitely have what it takes to lead more people, after all that i've seen them done, not only for me but for the entire cg. They are definitely key personels of the cg and its about time they take up a greater responsibility to care for even more people. And its kind of cool, because john is my followupleader and pj+zl are my cg tls. Its great to see them rising up, because they will be my greatest inspirations to change the world.
Last weekend, pastor lia said about not just turning up, but tuning up to wordlife. And im so glad this sermon came exactly at the right time. A while too early, i would have dismissed the entire sermon as something i need to do next time; a while too late and i would have wasted even more time in gaining the wisdom of God. Now that i know my love for God is 100%, its time to love him in the immeasurable ways. A few weeks back, i spilled sugary drink on my bible, and since then, it has been rotting in my room. I've been feeling kind of guilty then, but after sermon last weekend, I realised that this might just have been part of god's plan all along. I think this is definitely god's way to tell me that its time i stop relying on using substitute bibles and get myself a new, personal bible. But this time, not just any bible, but a proper study bible. And actually, i thought of buying it after bf. But after doing some simple cost benefit analysis, I realised that the price of the study bible is not going change whether i buy it now or buy it later. So assuming ceteris paribus, although saving money is of priority now, tapping on my reserves now or later will not make any difference whatsoever. In fact, the knowledge im gonna gain from buying a study bible now compared to 3 months later would have already been more valuable than whatever interest or inflation i might experience if i spend later. Or actually whatever inflation there may be would have been negligible and accounted for since the real value of the bible would still be the same. In other words, i should just buy the study bible asap. And then i shall start to sharpen my sword so that when the moment comes, victory will be certain.
And lastly, now that followup is over, i know that my love for god is an assuring 100%. And now that i've completed my first milestone, its time to begin another journey; to be able to love him in the immeasurable ways. And the most basic and fundamental would be to first read and learn of his words. Hence from the next post onwards, there will be a change. An advancement by going back to the basics.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Stupid head.
Loving people is just so tiring. I cant believe i've been trying to love people for so long already. I love god but i just cant stand myself trying to love people. Im tired. From today onwards, i shall love people i want to love, and not love people i need to love. I shall smile at people i want to smile to, and not smile to people i need to smile too. Having the perfect love from god is enough to sustain this entire life. This is it. i shall seek no more. Nothing more. Nothing more untill a revelation falls on me.
Dear lord, unless you do something real quick, i think im gonna give up. I asked to carry your burden, and wow, im already feeling the weight.. I cant believe how you managed to live through eternity despite of all the imperfections of man. You even died to save us. No words can describe how grateful i am for your blood. Now i know why you are God, because through you all things are possible.
Well.. god, because i love you so much, i shall continue to carry this weight upon my shoulders. To exemplify your glory to the rest of the world.
Wow i cant believe during the past hour i actually thought out a whole load of garbage using this stupidirritatingheadofminewhichneverstopstotakeabreakevenat2ammidnight. Just moments ago, Satan pulled me into darkness, but thankfully, God's light shines! And once again i remind myself, the life i live, i live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
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